Who Am I?

 Life is so weird. You go through it an change so much year by year. Your identity is created by how others perceive you and how you present yourself. I have gone through so many stages of my life where I just knew who I am. But things change.

There are a few identifying factors that are a permeant part of my identity. I’m a wife, mom, daughter, niece, aunt, and cousin. All of these factors have been a huge part of my personality. Let’s break down my stages.

As a young child, I was adventurous, tomboy type that preferred to get muddy than dress up. I did play with Barbie’s. I had Breyer horses and a stable! I have always loved horses! I spent my weekends with my grandma at the ranch. Building fences, mowing grass, playing with the horses and riding four wheelers! So many amazing memories with my Grandma Zanek! Up until about 7th grade, I’d also go to my Grandma Whittle’s house in OKC for several weeks! We would always watch the wheel! We also did the typical stuff like go to the zoo, the science museum, and the horse race track! Super fun! And both grandparents had cable! Something we didn’t have at home. So in the down time, I got to watch Nickelodeon! Both of my grandma’s were strong women whom kept up with the home and took care of my grandpas. My mom’s mom was more into making me more girly! She loved to paint my nails and do my hair. She would dress me up and we would also do things like aerobics and get our hair done. Wasn’t really my thing but I loved it! Grandma Zanek was all about teaching me to be strong both in mind and body. She wanted me to be independent, strong in my beliefs, and respectful. She strongly believed that I could be whom ever I wanted to be! Even if that was a gerbil raising weird kid that loved to swim and play in the mud. Yes, I raised gerbils and sold the babies to the local pet store! I even created some really cool colors of gerbils by mixing them. Highly sought after colors brought big money for a 10yo!  At one point I had 10 breeders and 24 individual critters. I was playing with genetics before I even knew what genetics really were! Super fun!

My next chapter began around 8th grade. Now keep in mind that I always went to Girl Scout or YMCA camp during the summers and always went to the ones that had horses! I even went to a camp for kids with seizure disorders (I had a type of seizure disorder that I outgrew) and helped out with their horseback program. Then, grandma z got me into English riding lessons! This was a life changing experience for me! Once into the equestrian world, I was hooked. Yes we had horses at the ranch I could ride but taking actual lessons with a group was so much more’ I was blessed to have a mom that was home to get me to my lessons weekly! I could have gotten into jumping but we didn’t own a horse and leasing one was not in the budget. So I didn’t really get to show. I learned a lot. Future me really put what I learned into working practice! Christmas of 8th grade, my parents gifted me with my first horse! He was broke western and a short dude so no way could he be at the English barn. He was also an Appaloosa. He was boarded in Houston at a very western barn! They had bull riding on Saturday nights and barrel racing on Wednesday nights! There was a wonderful group of ladies that gave us free lessons in barrel racing and I cannot thank them enough! I’m one that soaks up knowledge like a sponge! I also learned about making money to pay for my horse’s upkeep and competitions. I mowed yards, house sat for the neighbors, cleaned pools, and cleaned stalls! Of course I got in trouble for going to a payday with another family while my folks were in Vegas. But, those folks took me in like their kid! Doug and Amy became fast friends with my family and soon, they were hauling me to playdays and to team penning! We had so much fun! Doug was a Harris county sheriff deputy! We even went on an over night trail ride! I got in trouble again for going out to ride and not making it back to the barn before dark (whoops) and this was before we all had cell phones! My folks ended up moving me from that stable in the bad part of Houston (near Remington park horse track and beltway 8) to a private facility in Tomball. There was a couple of teens around my age that boarded there but nothing like Harmon stables where we had two arenas and a covered 100’ round pen. Nope, this was a small barn with turn out and a tilled up sandy spot to ride. It was closer to the payday arena, Suburban Ranches Riding Club , where I won my first saddle and lots of cool stuff! Being a smaller facility helped me move into my next chapter of life!

My sophomore year I got my first show lamb. I was lucky to have a spot at my stable to keep my lamb. I also gained another horse, Gypsy, as one to train and sell. Dad always said TJ (my Appaloosa) was the only horse he would ever give me. All the rest were projects. So during this chapter, I was the ag kid that barrel raced and competed in high school rodeo! It was a fun time! I even competed 4 years in the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo ApHC shows on my appy! My Senior year, I showed in the AQHA show at HLS&R. It was so much fun! My teacher wrote it off as a school related field trip! I was so busy! I did everything I could sign up for in FFA and was competitive in barrel racing and poles! I had a boyfriend too. But honestly, that was just expected of me to date in high school. I was so busy with my animals, I really didn’t care much for dating. Then I graduated. 

The day after I walked across the stage to graduate from high school, I left to be a camp wrangler at a YMCA camp in Trinity, TX. We were not only camp counselors, but also in charge of the camp herd. Probably one of the most taxing yet rewarding jobs I have ever had. Watching kids from the city meet, brush, love on and ride horses for the first time was enchanting. Their smiles. How they softened when around the horses. All of it. Magical! Probably why I love giving riding lessons! I even got to bring my own horse. TJ loved being trail boss! I did some work like this in high school at Hammond Ranch in the hill country but I didn’t get paid. I just got to go to camp for free! Anyhow, it really helped me find my feet. My grandma z was so happy with the path I chose! After all, the horses she had at the ranch were from campfire girls horse camp! She took care of a few horses during the off season. Then when they closed, the horses hit stayed. The only thing she didn’t like was the boy I chose to date. But who doesn’t date that guy? The one no one approves of? After camp was over, I moved into my dorm at Sam Houston State University! My goal was 2 years at SHSU then transfer to Texas A&M! And that is exactly what I did! Sadly, I lost my Grandma Zanek going into my second year at SHSU. She didn’t get to see me transfer to her school of choice for me nor graduate from there. But I do believe she did smile down from Heaven when I did! Anyhow, SHSU gave me a totally new personality? Perspective? Growth? Not really sure how to describe it. I learned to live on my own. I boarded my horses at the school barn (indoor arena was a bonus) and kept going with College Rodeo. I wasn’t the best but I was good at seasoning the horses I rode! That was back when I bounced and was sticky! I learned from an amazing teacher about how to break colts. I really enjoyed most of my classes other than math and history. I learned that one should schedule classes in a realistic way. We went out Thursdays so Friday AM classes were not for the faint of heart! Before college, I didn’t party. Seriously. I really didn’t do anything other than barrel race, show lambs and go camping with adults. A date here and there but my parents were pretty strict. Not in a bad way but we knew better. After all, I was the baby of four. So in college, I learned that I loved going out! I loved dancing! I loved hanging out with my friends! But I hated missing class! So I really got good at scheduling classes! One easy class, two classes that I would totally enjoy, and one hard class. 15-16 hours a semester. I had a lot of fun! Then it came time to transfer to TexasA&M. I had a 2.98GPA. Just shy of the 3.0 I needed to slide right in. I was devastated. I went to the animal science department and met Dr. Hesby (RIP) and he happened to know my grandma! How cool was that? Anyhow, he was happy to chat with me and said “well, looks like you need someone to click this button so you can sign up for Chemistry and Equine Reproduction this summer!” And that… is how I got into my favorite school, Texas A&M!

What a life change for me!!! I went from a smaller college where you can make it from one side to the other in 10 minutes to a HUGE campus where you might have to drive to your next class! I moved to the family ranch which was miles from the Animal Science building! My first summer was brutal! Chemistry kicked my butt! Equine Reproduction was a breeze and fun! Cowboy Chemistry almost killed my TAMU  gpa 🫣. But I passed with a C and and an A in my Equine Reproduction class and moved on! I learned so much! Lots of hands on courses! Of course there were some that I am glad I took during the summer because they took a lot more to make the A’s and B’s. I worked for a couple of veterinarians while taking classes. I also rented out my extra rooms at the ranch and boarded horses for extra money. It was so nice to have 450 acres to ride on DAILY! I think I rode more during those two years than I have in the last five. We still had fun on Thursday nights! Often we would gather at the ranch and play in the mud. Something’s never change! I made a lot of friends at TAMU. My other brother was also in school while I was there. Eric Whitlow was my brother’s best friend when we were in grade school. He loved to throw me in the pool and do all the brother stuff. He took me out during my first semester at TAMU and took care of me! He and his friends were always out when I was out with my girl friends and kept an eye on us. I can say I felt protected! My last semester, I only had 11 hours left to graduate. 7 of which ended half way through the semester. So I worked at a vet clinic to pay for more barrel racing! The pay wasn’t much but the experience was awesome! And yes, I did meet my husband in October of 1999. I’m so glad I didn’t ditch out on that birthday party! I can say, for me, it was love at first sight!  What did I learn from Texas A&M? Way more than I can type. But I did learn loyalty, compassion, strength, courage, and that I can literally do anything if I put my mind to it!!!

My first job after getting my Bachelors of Science in Animal Science was in Orange, TX as a County Extension Agent for 4-H! Gosh. That chapter of my life was a whirlwind. Not only did I work my butt off for little pay, I dealt with adult bullies, amazing kids, made some life long friends, and found out that I don’t want to live in Deep South East Texas ever again! The mosquitoes were the size of humming birds. Flooding was common. I did enjoy barrel racing! I also started an equestrian club for the 4-H’ers that had horses! I don’t want to talk about the negative. Let’s just say so things happened that sent me into a spiral causing me to quit and go back to school to get my Masters of Education in Agriculture. I worked for 2 years in Orange. Jeff and I stayed together through all of this time! I even bought Gabe the Baby as a yearling while living in the golden triangle! My identity was changed at this point. I was now an adult. I had to hold my ground often. I had to share the love between feed stores because I could not show bias. Lee Harris was one of my best friends and the one person that I knew I could call, day or night, for anything. Friends like Lee are hard to find! Now he is married with 3 boys? I think 3. My brain 😝 And since he is a legacy land owner in Orange County, they will always be there. I’m sure to make a visit soon! 

So after some crazy stuff, I went back to school. At this point I was a grown up. Went to bed at 10pm. Knew that class was way more important than hanging out. I did have a great group of barn friends! We rode a lot! I moved to a rental where I could have my horses in my back yard and made more friends! These are the ones I wish lived closer!!! I worked two jobs while working on my masters. My first job while working on my ME was working in the pee lab. You heard me! We tested race horse urine for drugs! Really cool job! I had to quit due to time. I also worked for tractor supply but due to an injured shoulder, I didn’t get to stay there. That is when I learned that life isn’t fair and just because the law says they can’t let you go due to a medical issue, doesn’t mean they won’t find a way. 😣 But God opened another door for me! I began to work for a small vet clinic with Dr. Bond! He was amazing! I learned so much about being a tech and about how to do the books. It really was my favorite job ever! In fact, once Kolton can drive himself, I will seek out another part time vet clinic job! I also worked for TEEKS grading papers. Most boring job EVER. But I had to pay bills and go to school so jobs that didn’t last past 6pm were best and ones that worked around my classes were better! I didn’t know what I wanted to do during this time. Jeff and I were still dating and I knew he was the “ONE”. So after graduating with a 3.89 GPA, I managed to snag a job working to the Texas A&M Veterinary School in the department of research. We were working on a project to discover the effects of alcohol on the brain during pregnancy (3rd trimester, binge drinking) with sheep! It was a neat job! Everyone I worked with went on to bigger better things! Dr. Tim Cudd published a lot of amazing articles on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome! Look it up! Well, after a year and a half of doing that work, I finally put in my two weeks and told Jeff to get ready as I’m moving in! He lived in Pineland, TX this whole time while we were dating. I was super worried that I was going to scare him off but I knew that I needed to make a change. I wanted to be with him. He is stubborn like me. So I knew I had to make the move. Yes, this is when I learned I have to be strong and believe in myself to make things happen! I legit quit my job and moved in with him into his tiny duplex! I arranged a place for my horses. I paid the deposit for the two dogs. I got a storage unit and BAM… I loved to Pineland Texas.

This is getting long so I think I will do a part two! 

New Perspective!

 I have noticed a change come over me in the last year. Almost exactly a year. Yes, the two hip surgeries in 2023 made 2024 tough as they didn’t fix anything. Then the replacement of my hip Dec 30, 2024 totally changed that issue. I’m still healing. What I noticed is a change in my process. My anxiety has gone way down. I might be sleeping weird due to my desire to sleep on my side and my new hip saying “no, back only”. However, I’m getting some sleep and when I wake up, I have things to do! No more dragging @$$ out of bed. I even switched from coffee to tea in the morning! I still enjoy a cup of good coffee but I find that hot tea with some local honey just has my energy up. 

My whole approach to life has changed. I don’t mind doing the dishes, laundry or even vacuuming. That is now something I do daily. I still hate to dust but I’m sure I will get there. I make my bed! What has come over me? 

Another thing I’m noticing is I’m enjoying things again. I smile a lot more! Watching my kid do his thing (today was track) made me so happy! He did great in the high jump and got second in hurdles and 4x4 relay! He hs back in baseball for the season as well! Heck, it doesn’t even bother me when I end up transporting 2-3 extra kids after practice. 

I’m also finding new things to do with the four legged kids. Duke and I joined up with a local disc group (frisbee) and we will start back with Dock Diving soon! I have been taking extra time with Duke. He goes to physical therapy with me. He feeds horses with me. We play a game of fetch daily now! Amazing how much more responsive he is to me when we spend one on one time together! I look forward to seeing what we can do this year! I can’t wait to let him try out fast cat! With my new disc group, I’m making dog friends! It’s so nice! They don’t judge me. Pretty laid back and all the dogs get a big play session before we do anything else! 

My thoughts with my horses have shifted. No need for speed. I’m down for easy rides. I have ridden Lynx once since my replacement (don’t tell the doctor) and it wasn’t bad! Of course I’m trying to pace myself so I don’t mess anything up. My knee is so angry that my hip is now where it needs to be. But it’s ok! I’m not even worried about it! If it hurts, I don’t do it. Simple! 

I’m sure that soon I will make a friend whom wants to do the dog stuff too and I will get to go on adventures again! My hip isn’t ready so I’m sure it’s all in God’s timing! 

I think that is what has changed. I stopped stressing over other people’s opinions on what I do or how I do it and started learning again. I opened myself back up to learning. God has always been a huge part of my heart and soul. But, being in a state of “what will they say about me” really impacted my thoughts. Now that I have found myself again, I’m totally looking forward to finding out all the things I can do now! Duke and I will be playing in dog sports! Bob, Lynx and Whiskey will eventually get to go play with cows! Maybe some trail riding in the fall! I will be making more time to spend watching my kid play ALL the sports! 

The moral of this story is, stop letting those intrusive thoughts control your life. Give yourself a chance to learn new things. Be open to new opportunities! You never know what God is working on in your life! 

It’s Done! Now Time To Heal!

 Successful surgery to remove my God given hip and replace it with titanium! This has been a journey so far! The first week was tough. Of course I have had 3 repairs on this hip so I had some idea of what recovery would be like. This is different!instead of being non weight bearing and doing everything I could to not use said hip, I am encouraged to put all my weight on it an keep moving! I have a walker. I have a strap I use to lift my leg into bed. I have a cool sock thing that I have to say is pretty cool! I’m at day 12? I think? And tonight I took a shower standing up. No shower chair! 

After the surgery, I was kept over night. Thank God because those nurses taught me how to get in and out of bed and use my walker. I had to pee every 25 minutes. It was crazy! I didn’t even have IV fluids after surgery. But I was very thirsty and drank a ton of water! I also found out that taking my zanaflex (muscle relaxer- non narcotic) makes me hallucinate when I don’t fall asleep with it! Yeah anxiety and activity after taking it made me have a good run of crazy. They laughed it off after it ran through my system. My BP was all over the place. I think I freaked them out a bit!  I was happy that they had to deal with me vs being home! But I sure was happy to go home! 

Pain levels were around 7-8 at home. It was more of nerve pain and the feeling that I have titanium shoved into my femur. I haven’t ever broken a bone so they had cut the bone then wedged the titanium into the femur. I guess that is about as close to a broken bone feeling than I have ever felt! I have cracked ribs, broke big toe and the tip of my tail bone but that is about it. The surgeon said I have small but strong bones. I look forward to hearing more about that Monday! Sabrina is taking me to my two week check up! It’s so nice to have a friend willing to haul me around! They say I can’t drive for 2 months post op so now that is six more weeks! I can’t wait to get to drive my Tahoe again! Oh yeah, I got the 2013 Tahoe! It only has like 7800k miles and garage kept. I want to caller her Teeter! She is a nice driving mom vehicle that I thought I’d never have! We are putting the heavy duty floor mats in her and my new kennel for Duke is already in the back! It sure will make for a nice vehicle to take to the dog events 😎. 

Another part of this journey is physical therapy! I did pre-surgical PT and now I’m doing home health PT. I can’t back out as he comes to me lol. I was sick or something on Thursday and tried to cancel. Nope. He came out and worked on my IT band in my leg that was hella tight. After he left I slept for 20 hours. No kidding. I slept for 10 hours before and 20 hours after. Sleep has been the hardest because I like to sleep on my side. Lucky for me, I bought a full size maternity pillow before surgery. Problem is, my hamstring and my IT band are so tight that when I get on my side and get that leg up on that pillow, everything spasms. This is why right now I have the tens going in those areas. 

Another fun part is training my dogs. Slick and Gunther are good but Duke has been a bit more like a puppy. I big giant puppy! On my own, I can handle him. But with Jeff, well he turns into a bull in a china shop. I finally voiced my opinion that this is a training opportunity not and shut him in his kennel situation. Now he comes in, sits to calm down and is slower to move to the room. He waits for the invite to get on the bed and is no longer aiming for my torso! Win win! I broke out the 25 year old “Ruger remote”. I have newer versions but the OG just works better! Cuts down on yelling and he responds quickly. No cowering. Just stops and waits for me to give him a command! I always loved that remote! It’s basically an electronic dog whistle. I think I will keep using it for him. It sure worked Good on Ruger and Gauge! 

So next week is week 3. My bandage will be removed. My PT will be more active. Eventually I will graduate to a cane. I hate the walker! I’m not limping now. But my right leg feels longer than the left so I’m just crooked. Or maybe I’m straight and have been crooked for so long I don’t know the right way? Anyhow, I sure hope yall are having a good 2025! I’m ready to keep going! 😎 

Unicorn Hip in 36 hours!

 Yall, my right hip has been a pain in my butt since 2010. My first “repair” was 2013. I did recover from it and had many awesome years of barrel racing with the repair. But every run hurt. I am tough. I’d just take it easy after a run and do it again in a few days. Well…. 2023 I decided to teach Whiskey about spurs🫣 and it went good! So I let him lope a little and that brat knocked my foot on the round pen rails. I still had my spurs on. I don’t remember him bucking. I do remember me bouncing up and out of the saddle and the thwack on the ground to my right hip and the left side of my lower back. I have bulging discs that are on my lower back so that pretty much did me in. I could not use my right leg. My kid was home. I called him and asked for help. He came out, helped me stand up, and kept the horse loping in the round pen (from the ground) while I went in to take a pain pill. I could hardly walk. I came back out and, with my kid’s help, got back on Whiskey. We loped five laps each direction. We road back to the trailer, past the trailer and I slid off. My kid haltered him, removed all his tack and turned him out for me. Then I caught a ride to the hospital. Honestly I thought I’d broken something. I did not. I had a hematoma on my back and tore my labrum in my hip AGAIN. So I had two surgeries on that hip in 2023. I did not recover from surgery two. See, the second was to repair the outer layer of the hip where I slipped and tore the surgical holes from the original surgery in July. I still felt like my labrum was messed up.

My surgeon was cocky and just told me I need to quit horses. So I fired him. I found a new surgeon! He did some tests. He get me in for an injection (my sixth in that hip) knowing that six to the hip is going to cause softening of the femoral head and allow the gap to close…. And it did. Ouch! So I saw him the same week as the injection on November 1st. Then I prayed. I begged and I prayed for a new hip. Being the end of the year, he had to make a space for me but… they got me in for December 30th! I’m totally ready to get a new hip! This will be life changing! 

On the flip side, my brain is deep diving into prep, house set up, post op care for me and my kid, and all the things!!! I did get the ok to stay over night. Thank God. That will give me the opportunity to figure out what was done and have IV pain management. It will let me explore and evaluate my situation. I will come home on Tuesday, New Years Eve. I have been told that this will be so much easier than the repairs. I’m praying that is true! I know God is in control and has put all of this in motion! So if you have time, say a quick prayer for me! 

Life has been lifing like never before!

 I want to start off by saying my health journey since July had been interesting, but fruitful. I’m now on a daily migraine medication and have a breakthrough that is working. I lost 20 pounds with E. Coli. 10 out of 10 do not recommend but I’m thankful for the weight loss.! I’m back to where I was when I was riding Lynx! I have gained new students for my lesson program. My horse trailer got a reboot and I love it! I will have to find a place to go with it just to enjoy it! See, it had storm damage so I decided to reinvest in it because it’s the perfect size for me and I love it. But it needed things. It got a poly coat on the roof. 15 year leak proof warranty! Bar M Coatings did a great job! Tell them I sent you! It got cabinets! Over the couch and in the bed area! I have room for my stuff! It now has a fridge too! I also had the rubber flooring that seals the aluminum done in the horse and living area! Absolutely love it! Lots of little things that just needed fixing. It’s home and its maiden voyage was to the vet with 3 geldings to get their coggins tests and to get Bob and Whiskey moving better. All I have to say is OUCH to that vet bill.  It should be worth it! 

I have had some other interesting things going on too! Duke is doing good with Dock Diving! I’m meeting new people and finding out who my friends are in the process. I’m learning that the friends that are happy when I’m happy are awesome! I love to cheer them on ad well! Sure beats a toxic friendship. It’s nice to have a handful of folks I can call on and they can call on me! Dock Diving and agility for Duke is going well and I look forward to competing in those things in the future! 

Back to the horses. Today we had a big vet trip. It’s been a hot minute since I have invested in the performance of my horses other than feed and feet! Praying that they are happy now! However, I realize that now I need to start riding again! Lynx is still chronic and light duty. Bob and Whiskey will be my main rides. It’s time. They also got their feet done today. So Sunday, they should be ready to roll! Of course my hip is not happy about this. I’m not sure my hip will ever be happy again. My brain will love it though! I need to ride! I plan to start working Whiskey down good before swinging a leg on him. Bob also needs a warm up before riding but he is so sweet. It’s going to be nice! Then to decided what I want to do with them. Like what is my riding identity now? Both are cow horses so perhaps I will work towards sorting. For right now, I’m going to work towards ride. 

My kiddo is playing football and his team is ranked first right now! He just finished up summer baseball! He had a cross country competition today. He is doing good in school and in sports! My hubby and I just celebrated 17 years of marriage and on October 29th, 25 years together! We plan to have a date night soon enough! So for the Myers Mini Ranch, we are doing good! By God’s Grace and Glory, we shall live happily ever after! 

This is a Story About….. A Dog

 I have been owned by a lot of dogs in my life.  Ruger, my first ever blue heeler. He was a chunk of a pup and finished out around 60#. Ruger was my protector, best friend, and side kick. He was always down for a good time. He loved to lay in the bed of the truck at the barn and wait for some stranger to lean on my truck and pop up to scare the piss right out of them. He came by it naturally. I was mama. He was my boy. Heaven  forbid some jerk came into my house yelling at me. It happens when you are in college and your friends have boy friends that get a little whiskey bent. That dog came out from behind me, grabbed that 250# boy by the leg and made him cry. Why? He threatened me. In MY HOUSE. He didn’t break the skin, just his wrangler jeans and his Lucesse boots….Ruger put his life before mine more times than I can count. Sadly, he passed away after my husband and I got married. He had a brain tumor. 

Ruger was the dog I needed when I was single and/or traveling alone to races or just cross the state to see Jeff (my now husband of 17 years)

Before Ruger passed, we gained Colt45. Now I thought Colt45 would be mine, funny thing about heelers is, they pick their person and that one picked my husband. So I took him on a trip to a race after laying Ruger to rest and he puked all over my truck! Six hours one way and I was done. I had a horrible weekend but saw some cute little puppies riding around in the saddle with some kids. My friend Michelle and I had like $67.76 between the two of us and this was way before Venmo and cash app! Well, the last day of that race we decided to find these puppies. The one I wanted was the red female I had held in my saddle. Gauge. We found the pups at a trailer and then found the owner while carrying my new pup around until she found us. I explained my financial situation and my friend Michelle and I presented her with the cash…. She had them up for $350. Since she didn’t sell a single pup out of two litters, she let me have my baby girl. Baby girl slept on my console the whole way home and I moved Colt45 to a kennel in the LQ of the trailer so he would not puke in my truck. She became MY dog. Gauge went to all the races! She was the princess of the pack! When I got pregnant, she too had morning sickness. Legit. I had to keep her on IBS meds while I was pregnant with my kiddo! She was the bestests! Not Ruger, but the best in different ways. She lived a great life! She got to see my boy grow. She got to see us move twice. She was there for every single win on Lynx! Gah I miss her! Colt45 passed of natural causes at home (totally random) at age 13. Gauge lived to be two months shy of 16. Bless her heart. It had too much fluid build up and she could not breathe most nights. I had her on meds but it was time. 

RIP baby girl. Now I’m leaving some dogs out because I’m focusing on my heelers! Before Gauge got down, after Colt45 passed, we adopted Cole. Dude, I know. His name was from the shelter and it stuck soooo we kept it. Christmas Eve eve 2019, Cole was adopted and brought home! Now this one is a wonder. Zero idea of his age but I’d guess he is around 8-9 now. They said 7 when we got him but no way. He is missing some teeth. Fence jumper from the city life. He can work some horses if you ask. But he LOVES his kennel. He also has a fondness for my husbands shoes. He picked my husband. I told you, these dogs are people pickers! He will mostly listen to me but he is my husband’s dog. Gauge instantly put him in his place at the bottom of the pack. He would sneak on the bed, my side, in the middle of the night to cuddle and be back in his crate when the alarm went off. Literally crates himself. Very reclusive. The day we laid my baby girl to rest, Cole found a new lease on life. I’m not sure what happened but he was like “I’m alpha!” He is not but his confidence was showing! He now enjoys attacking his herding ball and playing with his giggle ball. No more bed snuggles. He said it isn’t worth it. If a shoe or boot goes missing, it’s in his crate. We love him. He is weird. He is loved. 

I added in Slick, Gunther and Gauge

Since Cole is 100% a flight risk, I didn’t really take him to races. In fact, by the time I realized Gauge was deaf and then having heart issues, Vid had hit and my horse was injured so barrel racing has kinda gone flat in my world. But Cole is a good boy! Not sure why his head is so small lol but he is a good boy!

Did I mention that in 2023 I lost two cats to FIP, my baby girl dog and my oldest horse? The last two in the same month. November was HARD. OH and my $700 barn cat, Tater, had his leg amputated. I was feeling really lost without my baby girl aka Gauge. She got me. Like she moved when I moved. She knew my moods. She was chill when I was chill. Happy to be with me at all times. I was crushed. I was casually looking for a pup. I wanted full mask, tail, and the bigger type like Ruger. Good Lord. Puppy prices are high! My good friend Mr. Garrett was going to have his breeder drop a purple female off to me (blue red mix) if I didn’t go get one for myself soon. Keep in mind I still had 3 dogs. Gunther is half lab, half wiener and now 12. Slick is half Aussie half corgi and a Velcro dog, he is now 4, and Cole. Did I need a puppy? No. Did I want another dog that was MINE? Yes. Is Slick mine? Yes. I love Slick but he can be a bit much. I wanted another ACD. Heeler.

Well…… the day I finally told Mr. Garrett to hook me up, I got a call. My friends said they found me a puppy…..oh man, this was a God thing for sure! Meet DUKE! I have never met a more “chill” pup than Duke. That is saying a lot. Did you just read what I typed? I did do DNA on this one because his feet are HUGE. HE IS 13% German Shepard and all the rest is Australian cattle dog with like 1% lab, etc. He wears an ESA tag as he is my ESA. He has gotten to ride in an ambulance with all the sirens going with me and didn’t move. Laid between my legs with his head on my belly. Went into the ER with me and they let him stay. This Dog was sent to me by Ruger, Gauge, and my chocolate lab Jake. I swear God told them to find the right soul for him to put in a pup just for me. He is my dog but he will go along with the boy and dad…. He has more road miles on him since April than any of the others in the pack. He goes everywhere with me. When I’m shopping, he lays at my feet and waits for me to move but only big move, not little move. He is so good that I forgot his age and left the dog door open while I took a nap…woke to a magazine shredded. He started inside then took it outside! He was abandoned in a hotel room at approximately 6-8 weeks old. We have him as a 12/15/23 born baby. On eclipse day, he was following a group of teens that are friends with my kid. Mr. Erik sent me a pic saying “found your dog”. My husband was blocking in my truck so I had to ask permission and he said “so you replaced your horse with a horse, the cats with two cats and now you want a puppy?” As he moved his truck out of the way. This is the one. This one is going to help change me in ways that I need during this season of my life. So when you see me with my 70# heeler cruising around town, just know that he is the bestest dog and God sent him to me.

It’s Complicated

 Y’all, my body is a mystery at this point. I recently (1 month) was diagnosed with a prolapsed bladder, this comes with a lot of other issues. I also met a new pain management doctor whom ordered MRI’s of my whole spine. Top to bottom. He squirted some stuff up my nose that gave me instant relief from my migraine, TMJ, and face pain. He wrote me a script for a very expensive RX then adjusted it to the one I’m on. My MRI showed significant changes since early 2023 🫣. My bladder has fallen half way down and is putting pressure on a lot of things including my spine. My back HURTS. 🙄. I’m getting my medial cluneal nerve block done on both sides on the 25th and more nose stuff on the 18? I also finally get to see the bladder doc on the 22nd. 

So I have been having horrid back pain that runs down the back of my legs. My job today was to drive 339 miles to pick up my son. For some reason I was seeing double, was spinning in my brain and was nauseated. I had trouble swallowing unless I drank something so I drank a lot of water. This made me stop at my best station about at the 1/2 way mark. I grabbed some Dramamine and took it to see if it would clear my vision. I waited, walking my dog and buying food from the bake sale to sponsor local jr high cheerleaders! I decided to start back on my journey.when I came up on Gainesville to get on 35, I was not feeling right. But I decided to try. What’s 180 miles!? Yeah I didn’t make it. By the time I passed the casino my left arm gave up on life. It went to sleep. I was finding the wake up bumps way too often and one car looked like two side by side. I exited at Ardmore and walked myself and ny dog in and almost passed out. They were quick to call the ambulance. My dog got to go with me as I could not leave him in the truck and my dad Ken was an hour and 23=minutes north of me.

Luckily he is smart and tuned into my discomfort instantly.the held his leash for my risky scans with contact that I am allergic too. Like I have an epi pen allergic…the dosed me with Benadryl and steroids before the another round after. At this point, Ken, Gramps and Kolton had arrived.they were able to get my truck, child and Duke back to OKC.

Thank you Lord. They are keeping me for stroke watch.i will have a brain MRI in the am then go from there. My last brain imaging was the week before my hip surgery in JULY 2023. I had “bright spots” a symbol of cluster or complex migraines. I was kept for two nights and sent home.being this far from home and mom’s home has me concerned.luckily I was planning to stay a night in OKC so I have a lot of my stuff. Sadly, my kid has sports on Monday.i have no idea how this will all play out. I don’t need to focus on that right now.in fact, I should be sleeping but my back is killing me and the doct wont order me anything. Why? Because he doesn’t know what’s going on. It’s complicated.likely the bladder is putting pressure on my spine and everything else ( im Constipated) So iamgivibg it go God!