Mom Life

There are days when I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen. Why I can't find my keys, my left shoe, my sunglasses or my phone. It happens! Then there are days when I am sick and I take my kid to school. When I pick him up, the teacher informs me that my boy cried when I dropped him off because he is worried about me ❤️. My 8 year old boy is all boy! It melted my heart when I found out about that situation. He really does love me! Come on now, you know what I mean! Like, I know my kid loves me but he actually cried because he was worried about me being home alone and sick! How sweet is that? Sometimes we get so stirred up about all the little things and forget that simple reason that we are literally runnning around like chickens with our heads cut off! It's because we love them! We are moms! We are wives! And in my case, I'm also a small business owner. We get caught up in our schedules and what needs to be done. Well, today, I stopped and took a nap! A legit, drool on my pillow, no tv, NAP. Why? Because I felt like I had 500 bazillion things to do and I was tired. Sometimes, we need to stop and take care of ourselves. Of course I started the washer before I sacked out but.... I napped. It's the little things. I hustle to get my son to and from school on time. I hustle to get food on the table. I hustle to get that uniform washed before the baseball game. I hustle to catch my horse to give lessons. Go, go, go. But when my son asks to ride my horse after I give lessons, that is when I need to stop. I need to stop and put my kid on that horse and take a million photos of him riding! One day he isn't going to want to do those little things. One day he is going to be hustling to get this and that done. The other night he asked to help me feed. So I stopped and handed him some buckets. He loves to help but often, we are rushing so I just get it done. But I am missing out on him wanting to help. My son is a great kid. We are pretty tough on him. He has aset bed time. He has a set routine. He makes his own breakfast and his own lunch (he is 8 y'all) and he is happy to do it. He knows that it gives me a chance to get a cup of coffee and knows that makes me happy. Like I said, it's the little things. Today, on our way to and from my riding lesson, he asked about taxes and why we pay them. Guys, I am not very good at explaining things such as this! But we talked about it and then got into how our government works and then on to how other countries work. I sure hope I didn't mess all that up for his future teachers! But he was listening and asking all sorts of questions. Thank God for Siri and the fact that I can talk to her and she will respond verbally! But it reminded me that my son is a sponge! He is always learning and watching! That reminds me to mind my P's & Q's! Why? Because he is always watching! I'm so thankful that I get the opportunity to drive him to and from school. That I get to take him to soccer and baseball. That he gets to see me teach riding lessons and clean saddles. He knows what hard work is. He knows his dad is going to work early in the morning and sometimes comes home late. He is super excited when his dad shows up for a weekday baseball game and even more excited when we stop and do things with him. I'm going to end this with something simple. Stop and look around. What is your kid doing? Is he/she outside playing? Are they being creative? Are they watching you? Be in the now. You can run that dishwasher after they go to bed. Does the house really need to be spotless? Or do you need to go throw the ball for your kid? Are you so caught up in the gotta do it right now or are you stopping to listen to the endless random questions your child is asking? Are you being respectful to others? Because your child is watching. Are you stopping during the day to take care of yourself? Or are you running around and dragging your feet? Parenting is hard. But remember WHY you are a parent! Remember those sweet little things. Those are the memories we will have when we grow up. And you stopping to throw the ball or push the swing for your kid (or in my case, finding string, tape and cardboard so he can make a trap) will be the memories your child has when he grows up. Life is short. Don't spend it chasing your tail. Well, unless that is what you enjoy! Signing off to get some sleep!

Adulting

I could post about the hell of a flu I have been experiencing for the last week and how I didn’t want to be sick on my 40th birthday BUT.... I have a few friends whom remind me to post positive! So I will post this.. Adulting. Y’all, it’s part of life. When we are young we have a choices. Most of us do. We could chose to adult and stand on our own two feet. For example, get a job, a place to live, pay our bills etc. Some of us have other choices like leave the nest and mo e in with some guy (could be the love of your life) or we could choose to stay in the nest. When I was growing up, I flew out of the nest and into college for four years. I did meet the love of my life as a junior in college and thank God he knew that I needed to ADULT. I NEEDED to stand on my own to feet. I needed to work. I needed to pay my own bills. So he didn’t allow me to strap myself to him and be his burden. I did just that. I got a job, paid bills, bought a bigger truck, bought a couple of horses etc. I then went back to school and obtained my Masters Degree. I thought he would then let me move in with him but again, he made me figure it out. I got another job. I worked. I barrel raced. I stood on my own two feet. I finally was able to get married to this love of my life and I was grateful that he “made me” adult. It sure gave me a different perspective on life in general. It made me a little more fragile. It made me appreciate all the little things that we had. Yes, we got married one month shy of 8 years of dating but I would not trade it now. Looking back, I needed all of my life lessons to be who I am today. I see a lot of younger people trying to go from the nest into a marriage. I see them trying to go from one person paying their way to another person supporting them. Y’all, you need to stand up. You need to step up. You need to ADULT. Learning to self sustain and live by yourself is hard as heck but it is necessary! You can still have the love of your life right there without jumping into their nest. It seems easy to go from one place to another and let someone else support you but did you learn to love yourself? Did you learn to sustain yourself? Did you learn how bills work? Until you learn these things, you can’t possibly appreciate your other half. I guess you could but in reality you need to learn about the world without someone else sheltering you. So I encourage all of you young people to go out AND LIVE. Figure out what makes the world go round. Figure out what makes you happy other than your spouse. You will have a longer, healthier relationship if you learn the basics of standing on your own two feet. I’m not shaming those who choose to leave one nest for another. I’m just saying to give it a try. Stand up! Be you! You will be happier! You will learn to appreciate the love and support of your significant other!

Excited!

Today I began to prep my trailer for my upcoming barrel race! See, around my birthday weekend, there is always a barrel race that I attend! It used to be called the Jurassic Classic. Now it’s the Dinosaur Classic! I normally haul one horse and freeze my butt off. I don’t normally win any money but I always enjoy going. Issue is, I’m an over Thinker! I begin to prep the trailer the week before. Well today I finally got a chance to go out and begin the “overhaul” on the trailer only to find a mix of random trash stashed here and there and I actually find things I have been looking for in the past! One think I can say is that today, I found SPACE. Y’all, I had no idea I had that much crap in my cubby hole! So I cleaned the floor up, sat my butt down and began to dig through all the important stuff I had stashed in random places! It’s cold out and windy so riding is out of the question considering I spent all day yesterday suffering with my sinuses. Tomorrow will be a busy day of lessons. So today is the day. I can honestly say that I am truly blessed to have my trailer! It has two beds, a shower and a potty! It also has your typical tv and a microwave that gets used mostly for storage. But today....it’s cleaned out and might actually get used! Of course I will need to stock my closet with clothes and try to figure out where to put my ice chests..plural...one for horse leg wraps and one for human consumption. I also need to do the dreaded “making of the bed” chore. But I have to say I am super excited! This year I get to haul TWO horses! My stunt double is going to enter up Lynx’s younger brother! This means that I will, for the first time in my life, have two horses that I RAISED and trained going to a major race! Yes, it’s about time! Goose is now 8! Both boys might be a little fresh but all in all, I am excited! Lynx loves this arena and loves the downhill alleyway! I’m sure Goose will figure it out and love it as well! I’m very blessed to have Katelin in my life. She has shown me that my big black gelding is a lot like his older brother. Maybe next year I will be running Goose on my birthday weekend! I will be turning 40 on January 29th. I am also very blessed that my husband and kiddo encourage me to go run on my birthday weekend! I had to miss this race the year of my hip surgery but I don’t think I have missed it since 2014. Can you tell I’m excited? Of course it’s always a chore to prep the trailer for the humans, horses and my dog. But it is a chore that gets my blood going in a good way! Sure, I could be like normal people and have a birthday party or birthday dinner but honestly, I rather go barrel racing! I have hauled to this race with much less “amenities” in my trailer but now I am totally portable! I am so blessed! So as I write this and plan to share, I’d like to ask for prayers of safety and prayers of sanity for us all! I feel like asking for happy prayers is way more beneficial than asking for luck. Honestly, I don’t believe in luck. If we depended on my winnings, I’d never get to run these amazing athletes! I’d be living in my trailer under a bridge somewhere! Lol! Nope, I am totally blessed! So if you see me at the race, I’d be happy to say a little prayer with you and I will be all smiles because I GET TO go barrel racing on my birthday weekend!

Friends.

There is a secret about me that I am going to share. I don't have a lot of "friends". Yes, I have a lot of folks that know me on the outside. I have a lot of people who surround my life. But I don't let too many into my actual circle. When I do let someone into my circle, I tend to hold tight to them. I care deeply. I think about them often. I remember the little things that they do and I do my best to remember the important things that make them happy. When they are sick, sad, or down, I care. I can't help it. I think I literally have five of these friends in my life. They may or may not know that they hold a place in my heart. They may not realize that they are one of the few. Problem is, some of the "few" have broken my heart in the past and I have had to walk away for my own sanity. They didn't realize how I felt. They took advantage or they decided I wasn't good enough to be their friend. Things were toxic and I had to close the door. But it never fails that someone will step into my life and fill that spot. This could be a flaw in me. The fact that I trust too often. The fact that when I am truly friends with someone I give up a chunk of my heart to them. I would bend over backwards to help them even if all I can be for them is an ear or a safety net. I also give these friends a lot of opportunities to tear out my heart. And that makes me vulnerable. But like I said, I care. If I let someone in, I let them in. It has come to my attention that my blind faith in my friends could be a flaw. It could be damaging to my personality. But I just can't help it. There are so few people that actually "click" with my personality that when I find one, I latch on. I never would have thought that caring for a person deeply was a flaw. I never would have thought that being a good friend even when that person was trying to walk away, was a flaw. I never would have thought that caring, loving and forgiving was a flaw in my character. However, as I approach the ripe age of 40, I am realizing that it is, in fact, a flaw. Hindsight is 20/20. I could have saved myself a lot of heartbreak if I had never let certain people into my circle. To be honest, I would not change it. Nope. That person might have walked all over me but I feel that God put that person in my life for a reason. It might have opened my soul up to learn something new about myself or it might have helped that person find out something new about themselves. So I will keep on keeping on. I will keep loving those in my circle. When one walks out, I will pray for them and keep on my path. After all, first and foremost, I am a wife, mother, sister and a daughter FIRST. I am a friend AFTER those things. Maybe God wants me to shine for others. Maybe he sends people to my circle so I can share a small part of my light with them. I refuse to let anyone take away my love. I will refuse to let anyone take my sunshine! But I also refuse to stop loving my circle. And I refuse to apologize for being me.

New Year, New Me?

I am not really big on New Year's Resolutions. I don't set my goals based on the past. Not really. And another year gone actually makes me sad. I know a lot of folks are like "so glad 2018 is over" but that is not me. SO much has happened in 2018! I was able to get my eyes fixed so I dont really need glasses yet..... still waiting on them to settle to see if I do need reading glasses but so far, so good. I was able to get my pesky pain fixed in my abdomen. I figured out why Goose was having issues and how to help him! I found a new friend to help me with Goose as well! I won two saddles! Lynx pulled a few big checks and won another buckle! We got a new horse, sold that horse, and some how managed to borrow another horse that is hanging out in my pasture for my kid to ride! He will also be used for lessons! I somehow managed to get two new saddles, one for Goose and one for Lynx. I also used my winning saddle certificate to get my husband a new saddle. ALL of this was done with winnings and hard work! I have been blessed with success this year. I may not have been at the top of my game but I was still successful! So why would I be ready to kick 2018 in the butt? Another thing that happened this year is my son upped his game in Baseball! He played coach pitch this year! No more t-ball! He was also on a great soccer team! He is learning so much in 2nd grade and ended 1st grade with all A's. He learned cursive in the first week of 2nd grade and now he prefers cursive over print! He went hunting with his Dad in January and they killed a nice buck! This hunting season, we have one more buck for the freezer and they are off to hunt together again. This was a year for "firsts". Goose was entered in his FIRST barrel race! About time! I know! He is doing so good! SO back to 2019. I don't desire a set of goals for the year. Nope....I have to count my blessings and I look forward to all that God has planned for me in the next year. There will be ups and downs as usual. There will be crazy weird stuff. But, first and foremost, there will be a new year of blessings and I am sure more "firsts" for us all. I am looking forward to running Goose in 2019. I am looking forward to Kolton riding Ralph in 2019. I am looking forward to my husband riding more in 2019 in his new saddle! I want my business to grow. I am looking for another product line to sell but honestly, I just don't see many things out there that I want to push. Instead, I think I will continue to teach lessons and see if I can pick up a few more students. I think I will try my best to make more runs on Lynx and Goose. I think I will be able to do a little more for my body like even just walking more! Oh and I got a new fancy camera!!! SO guess what? I think I will start taking photos and seeing where that will take me! I have always had a passion for photography! Perhaps I can take professional equine photos and pick up some clients. I am really good at sales photos....who knows? The door is wide open for life. We have so much life to live and I don't want to be negative about the past year. I want to cherish every good, bad and weird moment of the year! Bring it on 2019! I am so blessed to be alive and have my family! I am so blessed to have my horses, dogs and even those dang cats! So instead of resolutions...I am going to welcome 2019 with open arms and pray for more blessings! I am going to count my blessings each morning and each night! I am going to find the positive in everything I get to do! One foot in front of the other y'all!

Do You Believe?

Christmas time is upon us! Often we are reminded how important family and friends are during the season. But why not year round? I always find it interesting how folks get all social for the holidays but forget about the rest of the year. I digress. This is not what this blog is about! This blog is about Santa. My son is at an age where others are saying he isn’t real. Well, folks, I am nearly 40 and I have to say I still believe! However, I think it’s more about Jesus than Santa! It always catches me off guard when something happens during Christmas that is so odd that I literally have no way to explain it other than God’s miracles aka Santa! My son asked (he is 7, almost 8) if Santa was real. He asked his dad. I was a little shocked when Jeff descibled Santa as similar to God. You can’t see him. You can’t touch him. You can’t call him but you can talk to him. You have to have faith to see His blessings. If you don’t believe, then you are likely to miss the miracles. Let’s say that again. If you stop believing, then you miss the miracles. They are still happening but you loose your joy. You loose your child like wonder. You loose the “wow factor” of the unexpected love and kindness. It doesn’t mean that God doesn’t still want you. He will not forsake you even in your time of doubt. Santa is the same way. For our kids, it’s that gift they asked for from Santa that shows up under the tree. As parents, we have to be observers and make sure we try to find that one special thing. It’s not something expensive or something that is just AMAZING. No, it could be something small that they really want. In fact, anything our kid needs (we really do the socks thing and things he needs vs toys) so when he gets that gift from Santa that he asked him face to face... you get the WOW. Oh the joy and innocence of a child! If we, as adults, kept that child like wonder, imagine how happy we would be when someone brings you a random cupcake or does something simple for you that you didn’t have a chance to do. Think about it! Reflecting back to our relationship with God and Jesus, I pray that we are able to hold on to the blind faith, child like wonder and never ending love for someone we cannot see or touch. Count your blessings, not your curses. Heck, find the good in the bad! It’s hard. As an adult, it’s super hard! We can drown in all the negative! So if you stop each morning and thank God for allowing you to wake up each morning, I can tell you that it will change your daily outlook! As for Santa, I still watch out for him! I even get surprises from him each year! The amazing thing is seeing my child’s joy when he sees the stockings hung and a few extra gifts from Santa! So let your children be children! Let them have Joy! And remember Jesus is the reason for the season! Merry Christmas!

Life, Goals, Reality

I’d like to think that all of us have goals. We have a plan of some sort for our lives. We have a one year, five year or even ten year plan that we are all struggling to reach. Don’t lie...you have one! It may be something “simple” like loosing weight (this is no longer simple for me) or it might complexed like graduate from college, find a career and start to adult. Yes I am using the noun as a verb. Let’s be real here, adulting is a thing and it is hard! Sometimes we fall into this path to reach our goal so hard that when God opens a new path, you don’t see it. My goals have been fairy forward but I have been called into a different path that what I imagined at age 18. I started college at SHSU with intentions of getting my GPA up enough to get into Texas A&M. Then I wanted to finish my Animal Science degree in my four years. I did this. SUCESS! But wait... I had things thrown in there to change my path. My GPA was a 2.98. I needed a 3.0to get into Animal Scince as an incoming Junior at TAMU. I had already moved to my family ranch by the time the letter reached my mail. I went down to the school and pleaded my case to my advisor, Dr. Hesby, and with a lot of talk and one click of a button, I was in! I completed the next two years ON TIME and qualified for the “graduating with a 4 year degree with in 4 credits of my degree plan”. This was a bonus from George Bush. I was ecstatic! At the same time as I was finishing up my college hours, I was running a boarding facility at the ranch and had met Jeff, the love of my life and now my husband! Oh man.... that path had so many forks in the road! But I did it! Following that path, I wanted a career as a county agent with 4-h and I wanted to help with the equine program. I was placed in a county with NO HORSE PROGRAM. I knew very little about pigs and cattle. I helped where I could and bam, I built a long lasting horse program for that county. My goal was to stay until they wanted to transfer me to a county that was closer to where I wanted to live. God slapped a hard fork in my path. I had to get a Masters before I could transfer then my health tanked. I was already taking classes online so on my two year mark, I quit my job and went back to TAMU. All the while, Jeff was still working on his career in a deep east Texas town. We held together and I stayed in College Station from 2003-2006. I had then decided I wanted to teach on a college level. But again, another fork. I ended up getting a Masters of Education in Agricultural Education. I worked for the vet school on a project for over a year and decide it was time for new goals. Jeff and I found a house and I moved to Pineland, TX. I did get a chance to “teach” at a higher level with the small program in this tiny town. It was not where I wanted to raise my kids. Yes I said kids. Jeff and I married shortly after buying the house and almost 8 years of dating! My next round of goals were what some would think were simple. I wanted to start a family. This is where things got off track. It took me years to get pregnant. I was working then I lost my job and began to substitute for the local ISD’s in the area. I began to work on a teacher certification thinking I could just teach high school. I was shocked when I finally did get pregnant! I was one semester away from my certification. Remember how I said it was not where we wanted to raise our kids? Yeah... so we moved six weeks after our son was born in January of 2011. I finished my course work but eating an internship or student teaching was a no go. All that planning went down the tubes! We moved up here (near Dallas) and I had to rebuild my goals. I tried working and found out that while I was good at what I was doing, I really am better working for myself. This is something that I was told way before all the goals had been made. Why? I didn’t believe I could make it working for myself. Well, it came down to “now what?” God then threw so many forks in my road that I had to focus on my business. Between raising an active boy, barrel racing and being a wife....well guys, I just had to give it all to God and reinvent myself! I am probably one of the most over educated saddle cleaning, lesson instructing, tack/ supplement provider in the world. But you know what? I would not trade it for the world! My horses are literally providing for themselves. All else is for the vet, farrier, entryvfees etc. No, we are not rich. But I do ha e one hard working husband. We were only blessed with one child but that one child is awesome. A handful most of the time but smart, funny, talented and did I mention smart? And I get to take him to and from school. I get to take him to Sports! I get to attend all of his school programs! I also get to share my love for my horses and my knowledge with others. That is my passion. What is my point? Well, I am almost 40. I have a Masters Degree and my career is a stay at home mom and self employed as a riding coach, saddle cleaner, and stuff seller. But.....my blessings are amazing! When stuff was rolling down different paths, I had to think hard...now I just GIVE it to God and he points me where I need to go. So don’t be so hard on yourself if your path goes astray. Take a look around and see where God is sending you. You will be shocked at how your stress level will go down once you fall in step with God. Perhaps I will reinvent myself in the future. Yes....I’m about 37 days from being 40. But what the heck? I can be anything I want to be! Maybe I will pick up photography! Maybe I will figure a way to do lessons full time (I need an indoor arena) but all I know is I am me.i am part of my little family. I am a barrel racer. I am a horsewoman! I am loved and supported by my husband and my kid! I’m not going to say I’ve got this....no....God has got this! #tooblessedtobestressed #Iam #Godsplan