New Year, New Me?

I am not really big on New Year's Resolutions. I don't set my goals based on the past. Not really. And another year gone actually makes me sad. I know a lot of folks are like "so glad 2018 is over" but that is not me. SO much has happened in 2018! I was able to get my eyes fixed so I dont really need glasses yet..... still waiting on them to settle to see if I do need reading glasses but so far, so good. I was able to get my pesky pain fixed in my abdomen. I figured out why Goose was having issues and how to help him! I found a new friend to help me with Goose as well! I won two saddles! Lynx pulled a few big checks and won another buckle! We got a new horse, sold that horse, and some how managed to borrow another horse that is hanging out in my pasture for my kid to ride! He will also be used for lessons! I somehow managed to get two new saddles, one for Goose and one for Lynx. I also used my winning saddle certificate to get my husband a new saddle. ALL of this was done with winnings and hard work! I have been blessed with success this year. I may not have been at the top of my game but I was still successful! So why would I be ready to kick 2018 in the butt? Another thing that happened this year is my son upped his game in Baseball! He played coach pitch this year! No more t-ball! He was also on a great soccer team! He is learning so much in 2nd grade and ended 1st grade with all A's. He learned cursive in the first week of 2nd grade and now he prefers cursive over print! He went hunting with his Dad in January and they killed a nice buck! This hunting season, we have one more buck for the freezer and they are off to hunt together again. This was a year for "firsts". Goose was entered in his FIRST barrel race! About time! I know! He is doing so good! SO back to 2019. I don't desire a set of goals for the year. Nope....I have to count my blessings and I look forward to all that God has planned for me in the next year. There will be ups and downs as usual. There will be crazy weird stuff. But, first and foremost, there will be a new year of blessings and I am sure more "firsts" for us all. I am looking forward to running Goose in 2019. I am looking forward to Kolton riding Ralph in 2019. I am looking forward to my husband riding more in 2019 in his new saddle! I want my business to grow. I am looking for another product line to sell but honestly, I just don't see many things out there that I want to push. Instead, I think I will continue to teach lessons and see if I can pick up a few more students. I think I will try my best to make more runs on Lynx and Goose. I think I will be able to do a little more for my body like even just walking more! Oh and I got a new fancy camera!!! SO guess what? I think I will start taking photos and seeing where that will take me! I have always had a passion for photography! Perhaps I can take professional equine photos and pick up some clients. I am really good at sales photos....who knows? The door is wide open for life. We have so much life to live and I don't want to be negative about the past year. I want to cherish every good, bad and weird moment of the year! Bring it on 2019! I am so blessed to be alive and have my family! I am so blessed to have my horses, dogs and even those dang cats! So instead of resolutions...I am going to welcome 2019 with open arms and pray for more blessings! I am going to count my blessings each morning and each night! I am going to find the positive in everything I get to do! One foot in front of the other y'all!

Do You Believe?

Christmas time is upon us! Often we are reminded how important family and friends are during the season. But why not year round? I always find it interesting how folks get all social for the holidays but forget about the rest of the year. I digress. This is not what this blog is about! This blog is about Santa. My son is at an age where others are saying he isn’t real. Well, folks, I am nearly 40 and I have to say I still believe! However, I think it’s more about Jesus than Santa! It always catches me off guard when something happens during Christmas that is so odd that I literally have no way to explain it other than God’s miracles aka Santa! My son asked (he is 7, almost 8) if Santa was real. He asked his dad. I was a little shocked when Jeff descibled Santa as similar to God. You can’t see him. You can’t touch him. You can’t call him but you can talk to him. You have to have faith to see His blessings. If you don’t believe, then you are likely to miss the miracles. Let’s say that again. If you stop believing, then you miss the miracles. They are still happening but you loose your joy. You loose your child like wonder. You loose the “wow factor” of the unexpected love and kindness. It doesn’t mean that God doesn’t still want you. He will not forsake you even in your time of doubt. Santa is the same way. For our kids, it’s that gift they asked for from Santa that shows up under the tree. As parents, we have to be observers and make sure we try to find that one special thing. It’s not something expensive or something that is just AMAZING. No, it could be something small that they really want. In fact, anything our kid needs (we really do the socks thing and things he needs vs toys) so when he gets that gift from Santa that he asked him face to face... you get the WOW. Oh the joy and innocence of a child! If we, as adults, kept that child like wonder, imagine how happy we would be when someone brings you a random cupcake or does something simple for you that you didn’t have a chance to do. Think about it! Reflecting back to our relationship with God and Jesus, I pray that we are able to hold on to the blind faith, child like wonder and never ending love for someone we cannot see or touch. Count your blessings, not your curses. Heck, find the good in the bad! It’s hard. As an adult, it’s super hard! We can drown in all the negative! So if you stop each morning and thank God for allowing you to wake up each morning, I can tell you that it will change your daily outlook! As for Santa, I still watch out for him! I even get surprises from him each year! The amazing thing is seeing my child’s joy when he sees the stockings hung and a few extra gifts from Santa! So let your children be children! Let them have Joy! And remember Jesus is the reason for the season! Merry Christmas!

Life, Goals, Reality

I’d like to think that all of us have goals. We have a plan of some sort for our lives. We have a one year, five year or even ten year plan that we are all struggling to reach. Don’t lie...you have one! It may be something “simple” like loosing weight (this is no longer simple for me) or it might complexed like graduate from college, find a career and start to adult. Yes I am using the noun as a verb. Let’s be real here, adulting is a thing and it is hard! Sometimes we fall into this path to reach our goal so hard that when God opens a new path, you don’t see it. My goals have been fairy forward but I have been called into a different path that what I imagined at age 18. I started college at SHSU with intentions of getting my GPA up enough to get into Texas A&M. Then I wanted to finish my Animal Science degree in my four years. I did this. SUCESS! But wait... I had things thrown in there to change my path. My GPA was a 2.98. I needed a 3.0to get into Animal Scince as an incoming Junior at TAMU. I had already moved to my family ranch by the time the letter reached my mail. I went down to the school and pleaded my case to my advisor, Dr. Hesby, and with a lot of talk and one click of a button, I was in! I completed the next two years ON TIME and qualified for the “graduating with a 4 year degree with in 4 credits of my degree plan”. This was a bonus from George Bush. I was ecstatic! At the same time as I was finishing up my college hours, I was running a boarding facility at the ranch and had met Jeff, the love of my life and now my husband! Oh man.... that path had so many forks in the road! But I did it! Following that path, I wanted a career as a county agent with 4-h and I wanted to help with the equine program. I was placed in a county with NO HORSE PROGRAM. I knew very little about pigs and cattle. I helped where I could and bam, I built a long lasting horse program for that county. My goal was to stay until they wanted to transfer me to a county that was closer to where I wanted to live. God slapped a hard fork in my path. I had to get a Masters before I could transfer then my health tanked. I was already taking classes online so on my two year mark, I quit my job and went back to TAMU. All the while, Jeff was still working on his career in a deep east Texas town. We held together and I stayed in College Station from 2003-2006. I had then decided I wanted to teach on a college level. But again, another fork. I ended up getting a Masters of Education in Agricultural Education. I worked for the vet school on a project for over a year and decide it was time for new goals. Jeff and I found a house and I moved to Pineland, TX. I did get a chance to “teach” at a higher level with the small program in this tiny town. It was not where I wanted to raise my kids. Yes I said kids. Jeff and I married shortly after buying the house and almost 8 years of dating! My next round of goals were what some would think were simple. I wanted to start a family. This is where things got off track. It took me years to get pregnant. I was working then I lost my job and began to substitute for the local ISD’s in the area. I began to work on a teacher certification thinking I could just teach high school. I was shocked when I finally did get pregnant! I was one semester away from my certification. Remember how I said it was not where we wanted to raise our kids? Yeah... so we moved six weeks after our son was born in January of 2011. I finished my course work but eating an internship or student teaching was a no go. All that planning went down the tubes! We moved up here (near Dallas) and I had to rebuild my goals. I tried working and found out that while I was good at what I was doing, I really am better working for myself. This is something that I was told way before all the goals had been made. Why? I didn’t believe I could make it working for myself. Well, it came down to “now what?” God then threw so many forks in my road that I had to focus on my business. Between raising an active boy, barrel racing and being a wife....well guys, I just had to give it all to God and reinvent myself! I am probably one of the most over educated saddle cleaning, lesson instructing, tack/ supplement provider in the world. But you know what? I would not trade it for the world! My horses are literally providing for themselves. All else is for the vet, farrier, entryvfees etc. No, we are not rich. But I do ha e one hard working husband. We were only blessed with one child but that one child is awesome. A handful most of the time but smart, funny, talented and did I mention smart? And I get to take him to and from school. I get to take him to Sports! I get to attend all of his school programs! I also get to share my love for my horses and my knowledge with others. That is my passion. What is my point? Well, I am almost 40. I have a Masters Degree and my career is a stay at home mom and self employed as a riding coach, saddle cleaner, and stuff seller. But.....my blessings are amazing! When stuff was rolling down different paths, I had to think hard...now I just GIVE it to God and he points me where I need to go. So don’t be so hard on yourself if your path goes astray. Take a look around and see where God is sending you. You will be shocked at how your stress level will go down once you fall in step with God. Perhaps I will reinvent myself in the future. Yes....I’m about 37 days from being 40. But what the heck? I can be anything I want to be! Maybe I will pick up photography! Maybe I will figure a way to do lessons full time (I need an indoor arena) but all I know is I am me.i am part of my little family. I am a barrel racer. I am a horsewoman! I am loved and supported by my husband and my kid! I’m not going to say I’ve got this....no....God has got this! #tooblessedtobestressed #Iam #Godsplan

The Lack Of Sleep Is Making Me Crazy

So I’m still awake. See, I’m a person whom enjoys a routine. I wake at 7 am, I do my things such as take my kid to school, bust my but to ride, clean saddles, organize (lets be real, I really organize my horse stuff), teach lessons, make my phone calls and then back to grab my kid from school. Then it’s this, that and dinner. Normally I’m in bed by 10:30. I always say I’m going to bed around 9. But there is always something to do before actually laying down, right? Well, when my routine gets turned upside down, I tend to mess up my sleep schedule. And last week, my life was turned upside down. Back in 2011 I gave birth to a big, bouncing, baby boy. Shortly after having my c-section, my husband threw out his back. We had 8 horses at the time and of course they needed hay. I still had staples in my belly. I was determined to get my chore done. Well, I managed to pull down a stack of hay on top of myself thus resulting in a weird type of issue. It’s like a hernia but not really. I basically pulled my healing muscles the wrong way. I have been managing it ever since. I finally HAD to do something about it. I mean, when you can’t wear pants comfortably, it’s hard to ride your horse! So on November 21st, my doctor went in to fix it. She found some adhesions that had stuck my small intestine to my abdominal wall on the right side. She also found that my c-section scar had healed all wrong and had to redo all 7 layers. Lucky for me, it was just the muscles and not below the fasciae. Naturally, this puts me 4-6 weeks off my horse. This also makes it very uncomfortable to sit up. I basically can stand up or lay down. On top of that I had an infection so antibiotics on board. I’m pretty uncomfortable. Throw in the fact that pain meds make me wound super tight and I can’t find a good position to sleep in, I’m having a major interruption to my routine. It’s almost 2 am and I am awake. Of course I can’t do squat. So I’m blogging! On the plus side, it was an easy fix. So no long term therapy and such. I will be able to go back to jeans once the 7 layers heal. I will be able to work on my core AGAIN. IM SUPER excited about this! I also have my husband taking care of me and my friend, Katelin, to help with the horses and my lessons. I feel very blessed! Now if I can just find something to keep my body moving tomorrow without pain and my mind working so that it will be ready to rest, maybe I can line things back out! I just went outside and loved on my ponies in the dark! That always makes me feel a little better! I feel the need to say this so hear me out. My little surgery is nothing compared to what some of my friends and family have had to endure. It seems so trivial compared to chemo, busted ribs, bust hip, MS, etc. but it is something to me. Yes, I had my eyes fixed this year too. That was also necessary. It’s so nice to be able to see! So I want to say that I am not complaining! Nope! I’m saying I am super blessed to have my tribe! And I will be super happy to return to my routine! 4-6 weeks off my horse is NOTHING compared to my hip surgery, my mega leg gash with high ankle sprain, my actual c-section, my reduction, my hysterectomy with appendectomy and gall bladder removal or even my heart cath back in 2007. Yeah. WOW is the word. But I get knocked down and I always come back stronger! So I’m going to set some goals. First, my diet will have more green and less white (carbs). My water intake is currently at 1000ml and climbing. I need to be back to a gallon a day. Once I can be a little more active, I’m going to walk. Yes. Walk! Then I will build up to something that my body can handle! With a bum hip and all my little stuff, I will have to see what I can do. My goal is to get back down to 145#. Currently holding steady between 150-157. Doesn’t seem like much but it is. I can do this! For now, I’m going to rest and heal!

Adulting

Anyone else look around and realize that OMG, you are an adult and you don’t feel mentally prepared to be one? That is me. I’m almost 40. Yeah, my body feels it but my brain still thinks that it is 20. I still say things like “when I grow up”... not even kidding. Then I realize that my spectrum of friends is odd. It ranges from 15 to 65. Weird. I know. But when you barrel race, you have an odd range of friends. Shocker....people look up to me! I’m over here just trying to hold my life together and then I realize I have friends and people whom actually look up to me or seek me out for advice. That is hard for me to comprehend. I get it. I give riding lessons. I have a cool horse but am I actually mentally ready to give out advice? Not sure. But I wonder if other grown ups feel the way I do. Do you ever look at your tribe and wonder how or why your tribe came to be? Are you the glue? This might sound totally random to some of y’all. But this is so,etching that really makes me go hmmmmmmm.... I am a friendly person. However I only have a few friends. Like, I can call them whenever about whatever type of friends. I mentally can’t handle the stress of juggling too many friends. I just can’t keep up. To be honest, I’m a horrible friend! I forget birthdays. I forget anniversaries. Most of my friends live far from me so they don’t see me but once a year, maybe. But somehow they still are my friends. How does that happen? I also feel personally responsible for my friends. If they are having issues, I feel like it’s up to me to be their rock no matter what I am personally dealing with in my own world. Rachael’s world is a little messy, emotional, tired, and anxious. But, if my friend needs me, I’m there! I’m like a beacon! Here I am! I can be your rock! Then I realize I’m more like a marshmallow. However my friends still see me as strong and all that. I’m not y’all. I’m a mess! I’m going to blame it on adulting! My husband is my rock! He is specially designed, by God, to keep me from melting in the fire (I’m a marshmallow, remember?) and I thank God daily for him! So here I am offering all this support, advice, love etc when really, my 20 year old brain is making all sorts of sizzling noises. With that being said, I would not trade my life for anything. I love all my friends. I love my life! I love that I might be able to help someone with their life or their horse from time to time! I love to help others. But am I qualified? Let me say it like this... I learned about horses by being around horses and horse people. I was told to do a lot of things and honestly, I did what made sense and passed over the things that didn’t make sense. I’m very quirky about how I saddle my horse, warm him up and even how I run. My Grandma Zanek taught me soooooo much about horses growing up. Now she didn’t rodeo or anything like that but she taught me about horse sense. She also put me in a position to learn and grow in my equine skills. My parents fostered this idea as well. I did not go to clinics. I did not take many lessons (English lessons for 8 months when I was in junior high) but I was surrounded by other equestrians. I cleaned stalls for a horse trainer who really loved to put my butt on some of the quirkiest horses then tell me everything I was doing wrong. I would clean 25 stalls, saddle 10 head then I would get told to warm so in so up.... I swear the man set me up for failure on a daily basis! But I learned! Boy did I learn! I worked for a summer camp and learned how to saddle 50 head in less than 30 minutes CORRECTLY. Because if you didn’t do it correctly than the favorite trail horse would get a gall or a saddle sore. So I learned. I learned from barrel racers. I learned from old cowboys. I was blessed to have those old cowboys in my life! They taught me cool tricks! They also taught me about the reality of horsemanship. I learned how to load a horse that won’t load. I learned how to ride rank. I learned how to gain respect from my horse while demanding respect from the same horse. I learned about partnership and teamwork. The list is long and looking back, wow, I am old! I’d ha e to be old to fit all that I have learned into my lifetime. Moving forward.... now I teach riding lessons and I compete on horses that I raised. I still feel like I have so much to learn. I still yearn for someone to school me on my horsemanship. So am I really qualified to be that person for someone else? That is the moment I realized that I’m an adult. I can be someone’s rock even though I’m a marshmallow. I can pass on my knowledge while still absorbing new knowledge. I can still improve myself and teach others. Back to my friends. I will do my best to be a good friend. I apologize for my forgetful nature. Blame it on adulting! Sometimes I just need to be in my head. Yes, it’s a mess but I like it there! So when I’m at a race and I seem a little distant, don’t worry, I’m just in my head. Thank you guys for sticking around! However, sometimes I can’t be that cheerleader, pacifier, warm fuzzy blanket that you need. I’m sorry. I’m a marshmallow! Maybe one day, when I grow up, I can be all that for my friends! I will do what I can but I can’t always prioritize things in a way that makes everyone happy. See, I have a family, some weirdo horses and some dogs that love me unconditionally and I tend to put them first! But again, I will do what I can! ❤️

Let Your Light Shine Down!

I am not sure how many folks out there actually know me or just simply are entertained by my randoming. Honestly, it’s all good! If you are reading these posts then MAYBE I can share my little light with you! I recently had someone say that I brought them closer to God. This statement can be taken many ways! 😱 Did I scare her enough to make her see the light of God? Did I show kindness and love, such as God’s love during an event/crisis/experience? Did I reflect on how God had been such a strong presence in my life and she just decided to look as I look up? Who knows the answer. You see, as a Christian, I walk by faith. I don’t go around flaunting “ teeheee God loves me more than he loves you🤥”. That is not how I want to live my life. I feel that God puts all of us in a place to learn and move forward. No matter where you start your journey, HE will help guide you IF YOU ASK! True story! I actually just asked the big guy to throw down some light my way! I was feeling as if my light 👉🏻Inner light is God’s Love Shining Through Me👈🏻 Has been growing dim. I had been hearing my friends say things like they hate or don’t believe in God. I straight up heard one of my close friends say that s/he was glad that I felt loved by God but He doesn’t exist. This person is a devote Christian. So, I went to church after all this and went down to the alter to thank God for all of his blessings and to please change out my lightbulbs so I could be a stronger light for the world! I also had a friend with us (my kid was with me as well) and I begged God for more light! The friend that was with us is the one whom informed me that somehow I drew her closer to God. 👍🏻 But guys, it wasn’t me! Nope, it was God using me as a vessel! And honestly, if I am going to be USED by anyone, I prefer to be used to share about God’s love and blessings! Changing course for a second 👀... Did you know I was raised Catholic, married Methodist and now I am simply a Christian? I have heard it all. People saying I’m moving further away from God because I can’t “choose” a religion 🤷🏼‍♀️. Guys, it’s not even about RELIGION! Religion, through my eyes, is simply man made rules that float along with the Bible. If you love your religion and the rules you are to follow, Please do carry on! For me personally, I just want to be a part of a church family that doesn’t judge me (God is our only judge), one that encourages you to feel God’s love, not wrath, wrap you up in a huge hug! So I AM A CHRISTIAN! Back on topic. God is pretty cool. He puts me in some interesting situations that just opens the door for me to share a little light! But sometimes, y’all, I need my bulb changed out! So when someone is hating on Our Father, I swear my little light is try8ng to grow so that I can help them see his love. Am I rambling? Anyhow, I asked and I received! My friend told me I drew her closer to God and she just randomly said it. God is funny like that! She had no idea that I totally needed to hear that exact phrase! I think God was saying “LOOK HERE! You shinned my light on this one and look at here reflect it!” My other friend is going through hard times so I will say prayers for them and just pray that when that friend comes to me, my light will be bright! One more thing. Thank you guys for always praying with me. Strangers and friends. I am never short a hand to h9ld in the warm up pen at a barrel race for someone to pray with me! I pray that I will always have enough light to shine down on those in need! Amen!

God, Horses, and Life

God is so funny! My husband and I were just talking about how sad it is that Gabe the Babe hurt himself bad enough to be fully retired. We talked about how we wish we could find another like him that wasn't on the injured list. Well, I remembered a horse I looked at last year for a student. He was bred really nice and kid friendly. Of course I didn't have the money to buy him at the time. Well, I contacted the owner and the horse shows up at my house today!!! I had been praying for an answer because my son really wants to ride. But he needs a cow pony! Not a barrel horse! Big Bad Ralph fits the bill! I'm not even sure how this all fell into place but it did! Sure, I now have another horse. But I have another horse that can work as a lesson horse AND my son can ride him! All of my horses give lessons. Gabe just got pulled from the line up due to a torn hamstring as well as a locking stifle. Ralph is a year younger (2002 model) but still has plenty to offer! We are so Blessed! Thank you Lord!