It's Time to Recognize God's Love!

 I have so many things in my brain right now! I m going to attempt to make sense as I type this out today! First of all, last Thursday, I thought it was going to be the worst day ever. Lynx was extremely lame. He was diagnosed with a large lesion on his deep digital flexor tendon. Basically, a spot on the major tendon in his right front leg was damaged beyond repair. Career over. Could not ride him. DONE. Well, last Thursday, I thought he had damaged it more... My friend went with me to the vet to drive me home if it was in fact, the end. That day went from despair to glee!!!! Yes, he had an abscess on that foot but the lesion is GONE. This is not a possible outcome from a lesion. Y'all, This Was God! We went from January- Never ever run barrels again to March- Leg him up and get back to work!!!! GOD!!!! I asked the vet if he has ever seen anything like this and he was simply speechless (says a lot because he always has an idea) and all he could say was I have a horse with a strong will to live, compete and a lot of prayer warriors saying prayers for us!!! 

I have had so many conversations with God about this horse. In the past, before I stepped up on my next horse, my primary horse gets taken out of competition. My grey mare had tendon and knee issues. I stepped up on Ben. Ben had to be sold for tuition, I stepped back on my first horse TJ. TJ died, I stepped up on Gabe. Gabe broke his hip, I stepped up on Lynx. This time, I brought home my dad's colt Whiskey....and Lynx is diagnosed. I asked God to please not take Lynx away from me. I promised to still step up on Whiskey!!!! He didn't need to remove my best horse to push me on to my next best horse. SO many conversations and pleading with God over this. Praying in my own way. I went to church and hit the alter and just gave it all to HIM. And now, Lynx is back in the GAME!!!!!! Whiskey is at the trainer! I am excited about both horses!

I also have been wondering about my current business and if I can continue to give lessons and provide for my horses. Money is getting tight. I was pondering finding a vet clinic job to supplement my income. Well, my shoulder went bad really quick. I was then reminded that I need to be flexible right now so I can get my shoulder fixed. My insurance declined my surgery. On the plus side, that means I have time to spend with Lynx before surgery. I don't know if insurance will come back and approve but it is all in God's hands. I still can't see my clear path but I know to let God direct me. I can manage my pain if I don't over do it. Also, if I do get my surgery, my baby horse (Whiskey) can stay longer at the trainer and Lynx can get in shape giving lessons! Hey, I can coach lessons with one hand!!!! However, I might need help! Glad I have an intern! This totally flipped my brain on getting a 8-6 job at a clinic. A wise man once told me that I do best being my own boss! He is right! God will handle our finances!!! 

This is all I can write right now. Things are happening daily and reminding me that GOD is on my side!!! The devil can try to chip away at me but God's love is my armor!!!!! 

Day 1-4 of Dealing with Vid

 It all started on Wednesday, September 29, 2021. My son suddenly felt feverish at school at 3:30pm. His eyes were red and itchy and just ached all over. Then he was on the bus to come home to me. He had a fever of 100.9°. He received his dose of Tylenol. His fever went away. Right away. Still feeling achy, he went to bed around 9pm. Since he didn’t have any fever, no meds. Since we all have horrible allergies, this was likely a sinus issue or the current cold virus going around. I woke at 5:30 am on September 30 and took his temperature. He was up to 102°. He received another dose of Tylenol. An hour later it was steady at 100° so I administered a dose of Advil. I did contact the doctor and we had a telemed visit with her. She wanted to test for flu/step/vid. Sigh. Ok. 

Flash back to September 27th. I had horrible pain in my chest. See, I was kicked in the chest by my horse on September 7th and had to hitch a ride via ambulance to Big Baylor due to trauma. It was bad. Lucky for me, I didn’t break or rupture anything. I had swelling in my chest cavity and my heart was doing funny stuff. I have a history of PVC’s and low BP. Well, since my BP was around 70/40 and was having PVC’s (they called it dropped heart beats) they admitted me for observation. I was kept on the throrasic floor for four days. I finally had got my BP back to normal and my heart calmed down. I came home and rested another 4 days then went back to light work (for me) such as feeding horses, giving lessons etc. But on September 27, this pain in my sternum area was HORRIBLE. SO, my doctor sent me back to Baylor. All Checked out. They put me on laxatives and such. Moving forward. 

Back to September 30… the doctor sent people out to my truck to pull flu/strep and rapid vid tests on both of us. My son’s rapid was positive, mine was not so they did a PCR on me. Mine came back negative. Ok. Well, can you please do a PCR on my son? The answer was no. Sigh. They called in prednisone for my son. He felt 100% better that evening and the next day. So I decided that on October 1, we would just run to CVS and get PCR pulled on us both. 

Meanwhile, my son hasn’t run any fever. I haven’t run any fever. Other than the laxatives doing their thing and my chest pain, nothing seems off. I mean, I got kicked in the chest by a horse! Last night, October 2nd, I was out feeding horses, de-worming my horses and watering the horses. I actually was feeling pretty all right. I get a text. My PCR is now positive. With this in mind, as soon as my son spiked a fever, I took the dose of ivermectin for my body weight. I did for 3 days. I didn’t GIVE any to my son as he was feeling awesome. 

So I get my test back but haven’t gotten his back. Keep in mind, we took them at the same time. Today is October 3rd. I did ha e some dizziness yesterday but that has been going on for a week. This am I woke with tightness in my throat. Still dizzy. My son is still 100%. My husband received the vaccine. So of course, he didn’t get tested. He feels fine. 

I’m writing this down thinking about how things could be so much worse. I’m also thinking about how the vid came into my house. Obviously my son contracted it first and I’m secondary. No one is currently positive at his school or so the reports reflect that no one is positive. Perhaps it was a baseball player? Who knows. My son will miss out on a week and a half of school. Maybe more depending on his PCR test he will take after 10 days…….again, he is fine. 

This is simply mind boggling for me. If it was the flu, he would be out until fever/symptom free for 24 hours. If my husband had not gotten the v-card, he would be out of work until we all tested negative. Considering my son has been symptom free since 9/30, I have the symptoms but yet it could be from the medication I am on due to my traumatic injury…. My brain is thinking…. Wow. What a cluster! If I didn’t get a second PCR, I would never had known…..so how many people out there are feeling slightly off due to allergies, walking around like normal… and might test positive? 

Looking at the bigger picture….. why did my son only have fever and symptoms for less than 48 hours? How much $$$$$$ is the government making off these positive tests? I am listed as unvaccinated. In the past they said that once you have it, you are good. You have the antibodies. Now, they will push the vaccine on me regardless. No thank you. Now my son and I both have the antibodies to fight it off. But wait! They say…. That is no longer true! 😱 I’m seriously starting to wonder about the entire approach to the vid. It’s a virus. If you have it, get over it, you have the antibodies. My rational mind knows this. Heck, that is common sense! Sure, I could go down hill quickly, I had blunt force trauma to my CHEST. I HAD BRONCHITIS BEFORE I was kicked in the chest, my lung capacity is still operating normally but it legit hurts to take a deep breath…. Because I GOT KICKED IN THE CHEST BY A HORSE. So what am I going to do? I’m going to continue my vitamins, ivermectin, inhaler, and stay in lock down. I am going to go outside and feed my horses. I am going to snuggle my dogs. I am going to cook dinner. I am going to go on with life. Ok, I will distance myself from the world until my test comes back negative. Yes, I’m praying that this is as light as it was for my child. 

I honk I will blog about my journey so that one day I can look back and say…. Yeah…. That was a little scary but the flu was way more scary! 

Just a Rant.

 Do you ever just want to hide away from the world? I can’t believe what our country is going through right now. Politics aside, I’m truly scared for our country. From our medical rights being taken away to the removal of our troops from Afghanistan…. What is happening? I can’t believe that our Governor stood up for our rights to CHOOSE then several counties went the other way….. what? How is that even possible? Texas is a Republic. Now I’m no history buff. Seriously, don’t ask me about anything related to history classes. I didn’t do well in those classes lol! But if our Governor says masks and vaccines are OUR CHOICE, then it is what it is. The fact that it WAS NOT our choice was horrific all on it’s on. Then Dallas County decided that they are just going to defy the Governor of Texas? What? Face Palm. What is next? Are they going to tell us what we can and cannot drive? What we can and cannot eat? How we will live in our own homes? Honestly, I’m getting a little overwhelmed with all of this and I’m not sure what to do. This is out of control….our control. I thought we lived in the land of the Brave and the FREE. In God We Trust. Oh wait…. Someone decided we can no longer say that. I won’t apologize. My God is a mighty God! And He is GOOD! I feel like they are slowly taking away our individuality. 

Now. If you want to wear a mask, homeschool your kiddos, and live in a bunker underground, THAT IS YOUR RIGHT. By all means, grow your own food, cut off all links to the outside world. Good for you! It’s YOUR RIGHT. WE LIVE IN AMERICA. If you want to live in the city, use public transportation, and live on the grid, by all means, GO FOR IT! It’s AMERICA! But why can’t I live how I want to live? Why are we erasing history? Why are we having to fear our neighbors? Why are we being forced to put things in our bodies that we do not want to put into our bodies? Why can’t I feel free to smile when I want too in public? How on Earth do you expect teachers to teach with our children’s faces covered?I can’t even imagine. Let’s go ahead and put on ear muffs too. Blinders anyone? 

Seriously though. They shut down churches but not Walmart. How is that possible? Wasn’t our country founded on religious freedom? Oh. That is right. Y’all are erasing our history. Again, THIS IS ALL INSANE. Yes, I’m just a barrel racing, horse owning, diesel driving, mom of one with a hard working husband trying to live the American dream. I must be some random red neck…. I’m not. In fact, I happen to have a Master’s Degree. I’m not saying I’m smarter than anyone else, but just because I drive a truck and ride horses doesn’t discount my intelligence. I’m just as American as you are and I know what it says in the Constitution just like you should. I also know the 10 Commandments. 

My point is simple. We live in the good ol’U.S.A. And by God’s Grace, we should be living free of chaos and government tyranny. Yet, I am worried about the current state of this land. I’m allowed to vote for whom ever I wish. And my vote should COUNT. Just like every single AMERICAN CITIZEN! I did not vote to be put in chains. I’m a law abiding citizen who expects to live the way I want to live. Stop trying to control me. Stop trying to tell me that our history is a lie. Stop trying to tell me that I should trust things that don’t make sense to me. Stop trying to pull the wool over my eyes. I’m going to say it…. I am not a sheep. I am a lion! I am a child of God! I am an AMERICAN! I will say NO. I will protect my rights and the rights of my child! 

I pray for this country of ours. I pray for our military. I pray for all those who stand up for our freedom! I pray for those first responders. I pray for all whom are sick. I pray that Americans will WAKE UP and take a stand for OUR RIGHTS AND FREEDOM! God Bless Y’all. 

I Have The Lemons.... Now What?

 I am over here in Texas wondering when the rain will let up. But that is not the only thing. I also tweaked my hip and aggravated my knee injury (happened just before covid and never got it looked at) that is making my hip hurt worse. Of all things, I slipped on a dog bone and did the full splits with my bad hip/knee going forward and good one to the back. ALL THE WAY DOWN. See, in 2013, I had my hip socket and femoral head reconstructed due to an injury. It was successful but never 100%. He, my surgeon, told me to never do the splits, get bucked off or do stupid stuff. So a dog bone took me out..... Yeah, didn't see that happening! Now it is nauseating to ride. My knee is holding fluid. Add in the mud and you have one cowgirl that is very sore and very frustrated. 

Good news is that I was able to get to the surgeon quickly. He gave me some PT stuff to do at home and identified the adhesion in my socket. He also identified my knee issue and quickly got me in for an MRI for the knee and to see his knee specialist! Oh and I already have a couple of knee braces that I have been using for a theoretical bandaid since I did the deed a while back. Im pretty sure I tore my meniscus. 

Moving forward....I also have four muddy dogs. VERY muddy dogs. One of which is a puppy (7 months) and needs his outside time!!! I have been taking Slick the Cow dog and Cole, my Christmas Blue Heeler that is about 3-4 years old, to walk around the back pasture and let them run. I guess that since I am officially injured I should attempt to unbury my four wheeler (behind 2 mowers) to let them run. Honestly, walking is good and bad at the same time. It's the slipping in the mud that really kills me. My husband has a negative association with the pup. He says that every time he pets him, he pees. Well....He is a PUPPY and has a bad case of happy bladder. Sigh. It's going to be really interesting if I have to have any surgery! 

This seems like a really down post. Why? because it is.My property is muddy. More rain on the way. I have lesson students ready to come ride but it just keeps raining. I did clean the house only to have the dogs come in and lay down another layer of mud. I have been cooking Hello Fresh meals and that is going good! 

All in all, I just wish I could sit on the couch vs my bed. I can't. It seriously hurts. I wish I could at least play outside. I can't. It keeps raining. I wish I could get my dogs clean. I can't. Their yard is sloppy mud. I wish I could wash down my horses and tend to their needs. I cant. I literally do not have any where to clean them up except my driveway and no place to tie them up there. I wish we could go to the water park. Again, it keeps raining. I wish I was at least 95% without pain. I'm not. I am missing the use of my right hip/knee for now. I wish I could get in the truck and go some where. But again....Im in pain and my AC is on the fritz...So Here I Sit with my lemons. I need limes so I can make margaritas!!! Send them over! Heck, just send the Margaritas! I'd also enjoy a porch swing with cushions!!! 

Karen?

 You know, the world is crazy right now. Life has literally been turned up on end, shaken, broken, then glued together in the wrong order. People are freaking out. No one knows what tomorrow will bring....but how is that different from any other day? At any moment, God can reach down and decide he wants you. That is life. We are born. We live. We die. We go to Heaven (hopefully). LIVING is the best right now!!! We really don't get to choose the other two things!! So why is everyone so hateful? Gah. 

I expressed a need to find out how to get my neighbors to stop having a live band complete with trumpets, tuba, and LOUD....as well as over 50-100 people partying it up for 6-10 hours twice a month. If you had livestock, lived in the country, and desire to go to bed at a decent hour, you would understand how frustrating it is to have a mariachi band playing next door...... Seriously. Its insane. Well, I posted my concerns on an app for neighbors. I got called a Karen. UMMMMMM Hello??? So you are telling me that if you had to endure this amount of chaos in your back yard, you would just let it be? I doubt that.  I just want to have peace. I would also like to be able to sit outside (or inside) and not hear the shrill of a trumpet. I didn't realize that I was being a "Karen". 

So you ask what a "Karen" is..... its the new term for up tight. That is saying it nicely. I am not uptight guys. I just went to the chiropractor in a hoodie, camo pants and crocs. None of which matched. I didn't care. I had things to do. I enjoy listening to some music. However, I am mindful of the people around me. If I am listening to music, I keep it to a fair volume where we can enjoy and not annoy. I also spend time picking up trash. Yup. Trash. I clean up after myself. I also go clean up the ditches in front of my property. Most of it comes from the party neighbor.....Sigh. 

Another reason I was called a Karen was because I complain about people leaving their dogs loose. Yup. We live in the country on 6 acre lots. Guess what? I have a YARD for my dogs! Gasp! You don't? Well, we have a leash law in this county. Sorry kids. Being responsible for your pets, kids and livestock is a real thing! So when your dog comes over and rips into my garbage, chases my horses through a fence, tears down my yard fence to get to my dogs (whom are all fixed by the way) and can potentially bite my child....Guess what? It pisses me off. Now dogs do tend to get loose. It happens. But when it happens every single day...you need to be respectful of your community!!!!!! Why am I a "Karen" for reacting to the disrespect for your neighbors? 

Maybe I am being a bit up tight. OK. How about this. Lets all be respectful of others. Lets all clean up after ourselves like grownups. Lets all take responsibility for our kids, pets, livestock and property. WAIT...I think this is called BEING AN ADULT. 

Now that I got that off my chest...My son just kicked his soccer ball into the front door. I must go tell him to stop! Why? Because I am his mother and he is fixing to break a window. So I shall get after him for being reckless! 

The Weird, Unexplained, and Awesome

So I have been experiencing some really interesting things lately. School has started back for my son and i have to say, he is thriving! We had to make some changes and put him in public school. I was worried. But, I trusted that God was telling me that all would be fine. He is in fourth grade. We made the decision to put him back in a classroom (gasp) in a new school where he is making new friends. I have seen my child BLOOM. Literally. He loves the bus, the food, the teachers, and the friends! At first, I was like "why? Why do we have to do this?" Now i know it was what God wanted us to do. Our son found his Joy! 

 Next, I had this situation where I was without a horse to finish the season with my association. Barrel Racing y'all. Lynx was injured and Goose could not fill the gap. I borrowed a friend's horse. He did so well for me and clinched the year! We ended up Champion overall and in the adult group! I knew, in my soul, that I needed this horse in my life. I don't buy horses. I haven't purchased a horse since Gabe back in 2002. He is 19 now. But I did it and I'm not looking back! Splash is a blessing! 

Shortly after bringing Splash home, I started selling Summit Joint Performance. It's not unusual for me to sell products that I use. It is unusual for me to jump off a bridge and join a team to sell a product. This company and this product is simply AMAZING. Again, not looking back! 

 Flash forward... lessons this summer have been interesting due to COVID and all the changes in the world. Lessons cost money, people are cutting back and i expected to be one of the cutbacks. Instead, I have had one busy summer! I got a little low on funds to enter a benefit race that I enter every year to help support families in crisis while their kiddos are fighting cancer! Financially, due to vet bills and tires... and life.... I could not wrap my brain around entering. I casually put some stuff up for sale that needed to go. suddenly, two weeks before this race, I SOLD ALL OF IT. I also had to make the decision to pull a horse from my string. Goose doesn't want to be a barrel horse. While that was depressing, it gave me a sense of relief and opened up some new possibilities! Then, I started getting messages about new students!!!!!! Like God is saying "Hey, I got you! Watch This!" Now I can afford to enter that race that I have not missed since it began! Hayden's Help is the one I'm referring too and I am excited that I can now attend! Life has been a whirlwind and I honestly have been sitting here going "what is next?" God keeps saying "WAIT FOR IT". Prayers have been said. My prayers are being answered in HIS WAY. However, I see it. I see the answers. I hear you, God! I have been so BLESSED! Yes, bad things still happen (like needing to purchase three full sets of tires in two weeks time or stepping aside on Goose) BUT.... The Blessings Have Been Amazing! Thank you Lord!

MOM Life During this "pandemic".....

To be honest, I never wanted to be a homeschool mom. My son has always enjoyed school and enjoyed being out of the house. From a young age, he went to mothers day out and then on to child care a couple of days a week. When I had a full time job, he was only two years old and really enjoyed being "at school". SO that is what I did. I figured out a way to keep him going even when I no longer had a job. Just a couple of days a week. He is now 9. We went into Spring Break then....never went back. It's not about not wanting to care for my child. It's not about me not wanting to be a parent. My son legit loves school. He loves the interaction outside of the home. As a mom, being confined, well it's had a negative impact on my only child. We all like to paint that perfect picture of our family. We are all happy. We do things that are fun. We get along in harmony. That is the outside appearance that we all want to show the world. Don't lie. We ALL want to be happy and perfect. But let's be real here. When my son goes to school, I clean. It's hard to clean when the people are here. I clean, I grocery shop and I work on my business. I'm self employed and I need time to do my books as well as clean tack, take care of the horses and so on. Life has been altered since March. I have had to learn to step back from a lot of the things I get done while my son is at school. I have had to learn to keep my cool when my child is throwing a tantrum because....well...he is bored. He loves to be challenged and being home is not challenging. I have always had appreciation for teachers as a whole. The fact that they can keep my kid engaged and interested in learning for a whole day, five days a week, just...wow. Way to go! I can't get him to focus long enough to make his bed muchless teaching him something! Kuddo's to all the teachers in the world! I am not a teacher in that sense. I am a riding coach but that comes natural. I see a lot of backlash on parents who express their desire for person to person classes resuming during this pandemic. Back off y'all. It's not that we don't want to parent our kids. It's not that we don't love our children. Trust me. Not all of us parents are cut out for homeschooling. I do know several parents that are built to teach their kids at home. Y'all are blessed with the ability to juggle the teacher/parent relationship. Congrats!!!!! I am not blessed with that skill. But that is not a reason to shame me for wanting more for my child. I want him to go back to school so he can thrive. So he can develop new friendships and build on his personality. Yes, I want my child healthy. Yes I do worry about him getting sick. But let's all be honest here. The flu will spread through a school like wildfire. It has shut down schools in a matter of days. They clean said school and kids with no fever for 24 hours can return. It happens almost every year. How is this different? Some say "Well, we get the shot for the flu". Me too. So does my child. Guess what? He still get its it. A vaccination is not going to completely stop the spread. It's not y'all. The viruses, all of them, will mutate and find a way around whatever vaccination is created. It happens. But, we still send our kids to school. We remind them to wash their hands, cough and sneeze into their elbows and if our child has fever, WE KEEP THEM HOME. Or at least I do! Wanting to send my child back to school has way more to do with his mental growth that me not wanting to parent my child. Stop shaming us. The other part of all this mess is simply the fact that people are loosing income. Single parents cannot both homeschool and work. Life doesn't work like that for the general population. I am blessed with a hard working husband! So I can be home if my child is sick. Not everyone is as blessed. We are creating a great divide with all of this mess. The folks who are single handedly raising their kids need to work so they can provide for said kids. No school. No day care. No income. Not everyone has a family member close to take the reins. Think about those kids. Their single parent is struggling to make ends meet. A simple stimulus check won't fix the fact that they lost their job, insurance and security because they cannot attend work. The middle class and the below middle class are merging. The children are getting the short end of the stick. Some won't accept handouts. I get that. But some don't have the opportunity for handouts. So think really hard about that right there. What will it take to get these kids back into school??? It's simple, really. Parents, don't send kids to school who have any fever. This is something that has been an issue for YEARS. Practice good hygiene. Hand washing. Don't eat your boogers. Don't swap spit. Everyone has cooties. Let's keep teaching our children that they must wash their hands. Don't cough or sneeze on others etc. Common sense. Just like putting on a seat belt in a vehicle! And yes, this is a lead by example as well as parental reinforcement type deal. So as a mom with a school aged child, I beg you to think about what is happening to our kids while the adults are in panic mode. Take a deep breath behind your mask and think. Is shutting down schools going to solve the issue? No. It won't. If the adults cant remember basic hygiene, how will the curve be flattened??? WAKE UP AMERICA!!!