Karen?

 You know, the world is crazy right now. Life has literally been turned up on end, shaken, broken, then glued together in the wrong order. People are freaking out. No one knows what tomorrow will bring....but how is that different from any other day? At any moment, God can reach down and decide he wants you. That is life. We are born. We live. We die. We go to Heaven (hopefully). LIVING is the best right now!!! We really don't get to choose the other two things!! So why is everyone so hateful? Gah. 

I expressed a need to find out how to get my neighbors to stop having a live band complete with trumpets, tuba, and LOUD....as well as over 50-100 people partying it up for 6-10 hours twice a month. If you had livestock, lived in the country, and desire to go to bed at a decent hour, you would understand how frustrating it is to have a mariachi band playing next door...... Seriously. Its insane. Well, I posted my concerns on an app for neighbors. I got called a Karen. UMMMMMM Hello??? So you are telling me that if you had to endure this amount of chaos in your back yard, you would just let it be? I doubt that.  I just want to have peace. I would also like to be able to sit outside (or inside) and not hear the shrill of a trumpet. I didn't realize that I was being a "Karen". 

So you ask what a "Karen" is..... its the new term for up tight. That is saying it nicely. I am not uptight guys. I just went to the chiropractor in a hoodie, camo pants and crocs. None of which matched. I didn't care. I had things to do. I enjoy listening to some music. However, I am mindful of the people around me. If I am listening to music, I keep it to a fair volume where we can enjoy and not annoy. I also spend time picking up trash. Yup. Trash. I clean up after myself. I also go clean up the ditches in front of my property. Most of it comes from the party neighbor.....Sigh. 

Another reason I was called a Karen was because I complain about people leaving their dogs loose. Yup. We live in the country on 6 acre lots. Guess what? I have a YARD for my dogs! Gasp! You don't? Well, we have a leash law in this county. Sorry kids. Being responsible for your pets, kids and livestock is a real thing! So when your dog comes over and rips into my garbage, chases my horses through a fence, tears down my yard fence to get to my dogs (whom are all fixed by the way) and can potentially bite my child....Guess what? It pisses me off. Now dogs do tend to get loose. It happens. But when it happens every single day...you need to be respectful of your community!!!!!! Why am I a "Karen" for reacting to the disrespect for your neighbors? 

Maybe I am being a bit up tight. OK. How about this. Lets all be respectful of others. Lets all clean up after ourselves like grownups. Lets all take responsibility for our kids, pets, livestock and property. WAIT...I think this is called BEING AN ADULT. 

Now that I got that off my chest...My son just kicked his soccer ball into the front door. I must go tell him to stop! Why? Because I am his mother and he is fixing to break a window. So I shall get after him for being reckless! 

The Weird, Unexplained, and Awesome

So I have been experiencing some really interesting things lately. School has started back for my son and i have to say, he is thriving! We had to make some changes and put him in public school. I was worried. But, I trusted that God was telling me that all would be fine. He is in fourth grade. We made the decision to put him back in a classroom (gasp) in a new school where he is making new friends. I have seen my child BLOOM. Literally. He loves the bus, the food, the teachers, and the friends! At first, I was like "why? Why do we have to do this?" Now i know it was what God wanted us to do. Our son found his Joy! 

 Next, I had this situation where I was without a horse to finish the season with my association. Barrel Racing y'all. Lynx was injured and Goose could not fill the gap. I borrowed a friend's horse. He did so well for me and clinched the year! We ended up Champion overall and in the adult group! I knew, in my soul, that I needed this horse in my life. I don't buy horses. I haven't purchased a horse since Gabe back in 2002. He is 19 now. But I did it and I'm not looking back! Splash is a blessing! 

Shortly after bringing Splash home, I started selling Summit Joint Performance. It's not unusual for me to sell products that I use. It is unusual for me to jump off a bridge and join a team to sell a product. This company and this product is simply AMAZING. Again, not looking back! 

 Flash forward... lessons this summer have been interesting due to COVID and all the changes in the world. Lessons cost money, people are cutting back and i expected to be one of the cutbacks. Instead, I have had one busy summer! I got a little low on funds to enter a benefit race that I enter every year to help support families in crisis while their kiddos are fighting cancer! Financially, due to vet bills and tires... and life.... I could not wrap my brain around entering. I casually put some stuff up for sale that needed to go. suddenly, two weeks before this race, I SOLD ALL OF IT. I also had to make the decision to pull a horse from my string. Goose doesn't want to be a barrel horse. While that was depressing, it gave me a sense of relief and opened up some new possibilities! Then, I started getting messages about new students!!!!!! Like God is saying "Hey, I got you! Watch This!" Now I can afford to enter that race that I have not missed since it began! Hayden's Help is the one I'm referring too and I am excited that I can now attend! Life has been a whirlwind and I honestly have been sitting here going "what is next?" God keeps saying "WAIT FOR IT". Prayers have been said. My prayers are being answered in HIS WAY. However, I see it. I see the answers. I hear you, God! I have been so BLESSED! Yes, bad things still happen (like needing to purchase three full sets of tires in two weeks time or stepping aside on Goose) BUT.... The Blessings Have Been Amazing! Thank you Lord!

MOM Life During this "pandemic".....

To be honest, I never wanted to be a homeschool mom. My son has always enjoyed school and enjoyed being out of the house. From a young age, he went to mothers day out and then on to child care a couple of days a week. When I had a full time job, he was only two years old and really enjoyed being "at school". SO that is what I did. I figured out a way to keep him going even when I no longer had a job. Just a couple of days a week. He is now 9. We went into Spring Break then....never went back. It's not about not wanting to care for my child. It's not about me not wanting to be a parent. My son legit loves school. He loves the interaction outside of the home. As a mom, being confined, well it's had a negative impact on my only child. We all like to paint that perfect picture of our family. We are all happy. We do things that are fun. We get along in harmony. That is the outside appearance that we all want to show the world. Don't lie. We ALL want to be happy and perfect. But let's be real here. When my son goes to school, I clean. It's hard to clean when the people are here. I clean, I grocery shop and I work on my business. I'm self employed and I need time to do my books as well as clean tack, take care of the horses and so on. Life has been altered since March. I have had to learn to step back from a lot of the things I get done while my son is at school. I have had to learn to keep my cool when my child is throwing a tantrum because....well...he is bored. He loves to be challenged and being home is not challenging. I have always had appreciation for teachers as a whole. The fact that they can keep my kid engaged and interested in learning for a whole day, five days a week, just...wow. Way to go! I can't get him to focus long enough to make his bed muchless teaching him something! Kuddo's to all the teachers in the world! I am not a teacher in that sense. I am a riding coach but that comes natural. I see a lot of backlash on parents who express their desire for person to person classes resuming during this pandemic. Back off y'all. It's not that we don't want to parent our kids. It's not that we don't love our children. Trust me. Not all of us parents are cut out for homeschooling. I do know several parents that are built to teach their kids at home. Y'all are blessed with the ability to juggle the teacher/parent relationship. Congrats!!!!! I am not blessed with that skill. But that is not a reason to shame me for wanting more for my child. I want him to go back to school so he can thrive. So he can develop new friendships and build on his personality. Yes, I want my child healthy. Yes I do worry about him getting sick. But let's all be honest here. The flu will spread through a school like wildfire. It has shut down schools in a matter of days. They clean said school and kids with no fever for 24 hours can return. It happens almost every year. How is this different? Some say "Well, we get the shot for the flu". Me too. So does my child. Guess what? He still get its it. A vaccination is not going to completely stop the spread. It's not y'all. The viruses, all of them, will mutate and find a way around whatever vaccination is created. It happens. But, we still send our kids to school. We remind them to wash their hands, cough and sneeze into their elbows and if our child has fever, WE KEEP THEM HOME. Or at least I do! Wanting to send my child back to school has way more to do with his mental growth that me not wanting to parent my child. Stop shaming us. The other part of all this mess is simply the fact that people are loosing income. Single parents cannot both homeschool and work. Life doesn't work like that for the general population. I am blessed with a hard working husband! So I can be home if my child is sick. Not everyone is as blessed. We are creating a great divide with all of this mess. The folks who are single handedly raising their kids need to work so they can provide for said kids. No school. No day care. No income. Not everyone has a family member close to take the reins. Think about those kids. Their single parent is struggling to make ends meet. A simple stimulus check won't fix the fact that they lost their job, insurance and security because they cannot attend work. The middle class and the below middle class are merging. The children are getting the short end of the stick. Some won't accept handouts. I get that. But some don't have the opportunity for handouts. So think really hard about that right there. What will it take to get these kids back into school??? It's simple, really. Parents, don't send kids to school who have any fever. This is something that has been an issue for YEARS. Practice good hygiene. Hand washing. Don't eat your boogers. Don't swap spit. Everyone has cooties. Let's keep teaching our children that they must wash their hands. Don't cough or sneeze on others etc. Common sense. Just like putting on a seat belt in a vehicle! And yes, this is a lead by example as well as parental reinforcement type deal. So as a mom with a school aged child, I beg you to think about what is happening to our kids while the adults are in panic mode. Take a deep breath behind your mask and think. Is shutting down schools going to solve the issue? No. It won't. If the adults cant remember basic hygiene, how will the curve be flattened??? WAKE UP AMERICA!!!

Barrel Racer Legs

Barrel racer legs. So I have always had toned calves, slim ankles and thicker thighs. I think it comes with riding horses. As I approach my 41’st birthday, I realize that I still have these attributes plus some. What’s the plus? Well, even though I’m standing flat, barefoot, on even ground, one knee is higher than the other. Idk why! Also, one knee is swollen. One is wrinkled. I actually have a lot of dents and marks on both shins. Most likely from a random hit on a barrel or getting knocked by a various barn/horse related item. I did the photo in black and white because I also notice how pasty I am at the moment. 🤷🏼‍♀️ But that’s ok. No one except my family sees them bare anyhow! I also noticed that they are a rainbow of colors 😜! I haven’t hit anything in a while but they still have bluish green tints as well as red and splotchy parts. With all that going on, I have a huge scar on the back of my left knee and a torn meniscus on the right knee. I have had hip surgery. I have had barrel hits that showed bone. I have had sprained ankles where the doc said it would have been better if I had broken it. I have bone spurs in my heels. I have pulled ligaments that will never regain their elasticity. But each mark,scar, injury has a story! Oh my legs have walked and ridden a million miles! If I had to pass a vet exam, I would be set to the kill pen! But what a life I have lived! I have had many awesome horses in my life! Some only get one “special” horse. I have had 3 or 4! And more to come! I would not trade my life for a less beaten body if it was offered. In fact, I’m fine. Seriously! I will heal what needs healing. I will tan when I can and cover some of my colors (I use jergens tan in a bottle) and I can always put on pants! But I still have awesome calves, ankles and strong thighs! Thigh gaps are for wimps! I just used my legs as an example but this applies to all aspects of my life! It’s not perfect but it’s perfect for me! Learn to love you. After all, until you love yourself, you cannot love anyone else!

Cole Fits in!

Cole the Blue Heeler is settling right in! He does get scared with loud noise and such. But he doesn't bite, growl, bark, snap or anything except jumping the fence when he is scared! We let him sleep loose in the room. He seems to think he is a house dog and has not made a mess since the first couple of days! Even then, it was "marking". He is missing a canine tooth on his lower right and some front teeth on the top left. But he has no desire to chase livestock. He walks so well on a leash that I'm sure he was a house/apartment dog. I'm not sure what sort of abuse he suffered in his past but it is almost certain that he was abused. Last night he slept in the bed with me. He stayed along my side! Slept all night long! Anyhow, we will have more adventures as the days go by!

It's been a while..

It's been a while since I have posted on this blog! Since we last talked, we had a family of 3 dogs. Sadly, Colt passed away at the end of his 12th year! It was peaceful and at home. We think he had a heart attack. So now we have two. Gauge, who will be 12 in a month and Gunther whom is 7. Having a dog or three is a big responsibility!

Gauge and Gunther are mourning the loss of their brother. Today I had the urge to go to the shelter and meet a dog named Cole. Heeler. Man, I really like this dog! But we just got down to two and neither two need a whole lot. Both are well trained and behave! Do I want to adopt and add in another child? I was going to wait for a few months but this one came across my feed and he is local. I can get a pretty good read on a dog based off first impressions and Cole seems to be kind, loving and loyal. But am I ready to take one on that might need some training? My brain is saying it will be fine! My heart says he will fit in! My logic says no. I don't always listen to logic. If I did, I would not have my horses. Heck, I would not have the two dogs I have now!!! So I'm going to sleep on it. Perhaps God will give me an answer. He is usually pretty good and guiding me!

Not sure what to title this one.

So years ago, 2005, I was diagnosed with Juvenile Ruhamatoid arthritis. It was a daunting diagnosis. But it made sense. I went on medications and was doing better. In 2009, I had to quit my medications because we wanted to have a baby. And so flash forward to moving up near Dallas, Kolton was born and I needed to get back on my RA medications. I found what I thought was a good doctor, but she removed my diagnosis and didn’t put me back on meds. Well, I’m 40 now. I noticed a drastic change in my hands and feet as well as my allergies have been getting worse each year. I have always had horrible neck and back pain as well as my hips. My feet ache all the time. And now my hands are super sore. I visited my yearly doctor and she pointed out that I need to go find a new Ruhmatologist ASAP. I now meet 99% of the criteria for the disease. I’m still mad as hell that they removed my diagnosis in 2011. Now I have damage that is irreversible. But alas, I still keep moving. It’s time. It’s time to find a new doctor and get back on the hella expensive medications to manage this disease. It’s frustrating. I would go in for pain here and there but no one puts it all together. So I shall find a new doc, make a list and move forward. Many people ask why I don’t teach in a classroom setting. It’s because my body likes to take revenge when I have a job. Coaching lessons allows me to work at my own pace. Same with cleaning saddles and selling stuff. I can rest when needed. I can take medication when needed. I can set up a schedule that doesn’t overwhelm me. RA is one of the suffer in silence diseases. If I voiced about my pain, people would call me a hypochondriac. Instead of helping, they make me want to not talk about it. Tell me I need to cowgirl up. Telling me I need to ride more, exercise more, etc. no one understands why I have to do things on my own schedule. Why traveling and being out of my routine really messes me up. Going over night to a barrel race will cause me to be down the Monday and possibly Tuesday after. Like I have to rest and reset. There are a lot of us out there. I know several barrel racers that have it. Some that had to give up riding all together. I’m blessed that I can still ride. I’m praying that I can slow the damage in my body. If I can’t find a good doctor to put me back on meds ASAP, I’m just going to continue to fall apart. It’s depressing to think about so I try not to think about it. I try to make provisions that help me. There is no cure. Only medication to calm down my over active immune system. One day it will affect my heart. It already affects my lungs, joints, neck, head, face, hands, feet, hips, knees.... you get the idea. I don’t want pity. But if you see me out there trying to saddle, feed, set up my stuff at a race, understand that I might need help. I might be on my last hour before I have to crash. It’s my life. When you don’t see me sitting in the stands to watch the race, understand that I am resting in my trailer because I hurt and the fatigue has set in. When you ask if I want to go get food, understand that I’m turning you down because I can’t move anymore. But I made it there. I got to run my horse(s) and that was a huge accomplishment. So don’t take it personal. Understand that I’m happy to get to do what I love but I have to take care of my insane body. On the plus side, I can still ride. I can still coach lessons. I can still clean saddles and sell things. I just ha e to rest after.