Here I am. 45. Married. Raising a 13yo boy in 2024. Y’all, it’s so different from when I was 13! They have little computers in their pockets that can access the world. I didn’t want to get him a phone. But with playing four sports and having after school activities, I decided he could have an iPhone. It’s not a new. But with Apple, I have controls. Two of the biggest issues I’m having are with Google and YouTube. Neither have a filter for 13yo boys if you know what I mean. I can’t lock his login under a specific gmail account that I can lock to keep him off explicit content. I’m over it. I just dumbed his phone down to 9+ for age which doesn’t allow YouTube. I blocked it too. He is blocked from Google. For school, he needs access to Google and he can ask for it. I get the notification immediately and if at school, approve. It’s hard y’all.
Another thing I did was look up websites that mom’s need to block. It was easy to copy those sites to my note pad then input them into his blocked content. Even if you have their music rated for “non explicit”, it will still let him watch rap videos that are explicit 🙄. Yes, it’s a pick your battles situation, but we HAVE TO PROTECT OUR CHILDREN! Does it require work on my end? Absolutely. Did I try bark? Yes and it was expensive and also eliminated some things but let others slip by. It is a good idea but didn’t work for me. So I will continue to roll my eyes when he asks for more time for something or access to something else, but it’s worth it.
I also require him to turn his phone into me at night. It’s a MUST. Yes, I do go through his history, photos etc. It’s my job! I read his texts (especially the deleted ones) to make sure we don’t have any other issues. I’d be fine with a flip phone but he had one and broke it on purpose two years ago. Apple Watch worked but gets no signal at school (my phone only gets one bar and my watch is only running off phone at school) so we did get him a phone. Parents, don’t give up. Don’t give them free range on the World Wide Web. There is so much crap out there!
Another thing- podcasts. My son has begun to listen to them. So now I have to decide if Joe Rogan is ok or not. It’s not the cuss words that get me. It’s the sexual nature behind the cuss words (lots of rap songs) that really bother me. I give him some leeway on podcasts. But he doesn’t have social media AT ALL. No snap, IG, FB, TimTok, nothing. He can text. He can call. He can even FaceTime!
Moral of this post. Wait as long as you can before giving your child a phone. Once you do, watch it like a mama bear! Restrict their time on it. Take it away at bed time. Growing up it was 9am-9pm for phone calls. Nothing wrong with that now. Pay attention to what they are consuming. You would be surprised at what they can access on YouTube and Google. 🫣 we need a browser like Google for kids. Where they can look things up for learning but not for other things. My kid even googled if chores are child abuse 😂. Anyhow, I hope this helps!
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