Why?

 Sometimes I really wonder why God gave me the desire and passion for working with horses yet my body just keeps falling apart. Frankly, I wish I could walk away from horses sometimes. Between the three total hip surgeries (1 in 2013 and 2 in 2023) and both shoulders being fixed, then the bulging discs in my back, I’m shocked my desire to work with these 1,200# animals hasn’t faded. 

Even my hands and feet hurt. Yet I’m taking time to type this out. Having the passion to work with horses is insane. Without them, I loose my desire to even move. With them, I lose my ability to move! How can I balance this out? I also find that most horse people have similar thoughts. Similar body trauma. Similar chronic pain. When do I not hurt? When I’m in the saddle. When do I hurt? The rest of the time. In fact, I’m so miserable right now that I’m praying to fall asleep. Chronic pain SUCKS.

Sure, I can change disciplines with the horses. I have decided that barrel racing is just too hard on my body to keep trying. I had my dream horse. I won the 1D. Lynx is now retired.i think it’s time for me to retire from that sport. So I can do something else. Problem is, it’s still riding horses. My soul needs my horses!!! 

As I lay in bed trying to figure out how to ease my pain right now, I’m already planning my next ride on Bob and what we need to work on to reach a goal. I’m thinking about my young horse, Whiskey, and when I will be healed enough from my TWO hip surgeries to ride him again. Am I insane?